A bunch of love in a basket.

I walked into the room and saw the bag full of baby items.  I set the basket on the table and began to rifle through the bag.  It was loaded with baby essentials — enough to get any first time mom started off on the right foot.  A few girls (aided by a challenge from the stage) began a quest to meet the need of a girl they walk the halls with at school each day.

She’s pregnant.  Alone, and surrounded by unstable conditions at home and in school — these girls began to wonder what they could do to bring a bit of hope her way in the midst of a really tough situation.  Given $20 to figure it out, the challenge quickly grew when they shared their hearts the following week with a room full of teenage girls who are not waiting on the world to change.

One girl immediately chimes in that she will donate another $20 and it’s followed by another commitment to do the same.  Excitement started to build as together, they began to dream about the possibilities of what they could do for this person in need.

Their innocence shed convicting light that they cannot contribute to the darkness any longer.

And so they listed the things they have yet to purchase and their deepest hope is to be able to provide a car seat for this new mom.  The girls in the room confidently declared this is their act of love for this girl few of them really knew.

I think sometimes there are little flames inside all of us and what we need is someone to come along the side of us and fan it.  I sat back for a moment while we exchanged stories and experiences and smiled.  Watching most of these girls the last four years transform into beautiful ladies who want nothing more than to leave an eternal impact on this world.

It must be the feeling parents get with their kids grow up and explore life on their own — hoping they’ll continue to make the right decisions and hoping their deepest motivation in life comes from a divine call of God.

That’s how I feel about these girls I often term so affectionately as mine.

In two weeks, they will deliver a basket full of love to a lonely girl trying to get through the next few months.  Our hope is that this act will brighten many lives — not only for the duration of the light bulb, but for all time — in the reflection of the sun.

 

A Diamond. True Beauty.

I originally posted this writing a few years ago.  Suddenly, I understand it so much differently.

I subscribe to a weekly email newsletter through Radiant Magazine (www.radiantmag.com). The article I read this morning was incredible and I think there is an important message for all of us. I hope you enjoy as much as I did.

A Diamond’s True Beauty By Felicity White
Part of the creative genius of God is that He seems to have encoded little messages to us in the most unexpected places. One of my favorites comes from the half-carat diamond in my engagement ring. I’m not sure if I fell in love with this diamond because it came from the guy of my dreams or because it is the single most expensive item I’ve ever owned outside of my Corolla, but this diamond has illustrated more valuable lessons to me than anything I’ve learned from the trendy self-help books decorating my bedroom shelves.

The messages started with a simple revelation. In the days following my engagement I was acutely aware of my left hand. Did I always bang it on the bathroom stall like that? Had I always dragged it along the stairway railing as if it were barely connected to my body? I noticed every time I bumped into one of my student’s desks or fumbled with my cell phone in my purse. I started having crazy dreams involving the discovery that the ring was a fake. I knew this because it would crumble in my fingers like a clod of dirt or shatter on the ground in a million pieces. I would awake in a panic, find my perfectly intact ring on the bedside table and laugh at myself. I took the ring off for showers and for my frequent applications of antibacterial hand lotion.

After a few weeks of this obsessive behavior I started to get the picture. Nothing was happening to my diamond. I would carefully check it over for scratches or any sign of damage, but I realized that I wasn’t going to find anything. This gem was made for a lifetime of wearing—jewelers knew what they were doing when they decided which precious stone should become the symbol of every American male’s undying love. I got the message—this diamond is not just beautiful; it is a symbol of strength and endurance.

I took the lesson to heart for my own life. I started imagining myself as that little gem: beautiful, mysterious and strong. I became so interested that I started studying diamond websites and actually checking out books at the library about the history of diamonds and their cultural significance. This has been fascinating and enlightening. I’m more convinced than ever that God gave us diamonds and other rare rocks as reminders of the kind of women He wants us to be. After all, Peter refers to believers as living stones, and John’s description in Revelation of the City of God includes costly and precious stones, not gray slabs of dull rock.

The real beauty of a diamond is found on the inside. We love the fireworks and tiny rainbows created when light hits the stone, but those are just the effects of good clarity and the right cut on the inside of the diamond. Clarity means the diamond itself is free of flaws and inclusions, little non-diamond particles that can’t even be seen with the human eye. You have to look through a special jeweler’s loupe to even see these inclusions, but a diamond with a lot of flaws won’t produce sparkle like it should. Just like the sins and weaknesses in our character, these inclusions block light and muddy what should be crystal-clear material.

Clarity and cut are important criteria for deciding how much an individual diamond is worth. A small diamond with few inclusions and a perfect cut will cost more than the bigger carat with hidden flaws or an inferior cut. The cut is a precise, scientific process that involves perfect angles and dimensions to achieve maximum light reflection. I imagine it like the sometimes difficult path of discipleship: It can be time-consuming and painful, but the results are well worth the effort. Even when offered a diamond a few tenths of a carat larger than the one I received, I stuck with the stone that stood out from the rest on that little square of black velvet on the jewelry counter. It just had more sparkle. I didn’t know then that it was because of its clarity and balanced cut that this particular diamond projected so much more light than even the larger ones nearby.

This pretty stone has demonstrated to me that the life of beauty I want on the outside starts on the inside. If things are out of sync in my depths, it shows on my surface. To reflect the light of Jesus as remarkably as He shines it into my life in the first place, I have to be willing to examine my soul for clarity and submit to the cuts of discipleship. When I believe in and act upon these simple messages from my diamond, I learn to reflect His light with brilliance to a dark world. I become a rare rock living life from the inside out.”

Thank you Felicity for sharing your inspiring thoughts.

 

“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”

I made a list – 7 of my favorites.  They came quickly.  Memories.  Stories.   Events.  Lessons.   I marked each envelope accordingly and sealed each one shut.  I held the stack of envelopes, one for each day, for a few minutes as I recalled some of the things I appreciate most about pops.

• Riding around town in his sweet red convertible topped him on the charts of the coolest dad ever.  It only got better when he let me drive it when I earned my license.
• He read my name as I walked across the stage to receive my high school diploma.  An awesome perk to having my dad as a teacher.
• I love bedtime stories because pops always told them the best. 
• My dad can fix ANYTHING. 
• I can go to him for advice on anything — he always has answers to all of my questions.

He flew to Arizona today.  By himself.  He told me yesterday he’s never traveled alone in his 59 years.  I think he’s looking for fresh energy.  Escaping Minnesota winters for warm climates will do that for anyone.  But I think he’s on a quest and I hope the next 7 days will bring him some answers.

At times I’ve grown weary in the last few months — frustrated and maybe confused.  My heart wasn’t used to feeling this way.  Unsure of what the story could become, I knew I had to keep at it.  So, I wrote down 7 of my favorites and delievered them to pops before he left.  Uncertain of what he would think, I trusted they would be life, encouragement, and love to him on dark days.

I guess I was surprised to receive a call from him this morning.  “Thank you for the sweet note today,” he said with lightness in his voice.  “I love you.” 

Encouragement is great for other people, but it is so necessary for ourselves to participate in the act of encouraging as well.  Because for me, in the few moments it took to write down some favorites to share with my pops, I felt what I hope he will feel when he reads them.  Refreshed.

“Sometimes when it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”
And then, it’s all you see.

 

Today was made for you.

I was at home when my friend called me from the hospital, telling me she tried to commit suicide that day.  It was Valentines Day and we were in 10th grade.  A mutual friend of ours who shared our table in ceramics class looked her in the eye one day and said, “I wish you would have pulled the trigger.” 

I ran into that same friend five years later at college and as we were reminiscing about our high school years, he looked me in the eye and said, “I still wish she would have pulled the trigger.”  Since then, our friend has lost her husband and the father of her children to a heart condition.  I bet there are many days she doesn’t feel alive.  It was the first time a close friend seriously considered ending her life.  I’m so glad she is still here today.

I have another friend who said on her birthday that she wished she had never been born.  

Never been born?  I can’t imagine what my life would be like without her in it.  I can’t imagine how different so many people’s lives would be if she was never born.  I have learned more about selfless living from her more than everyone in my life combined.  I have learned generosity, joy, love, & grace.  My life has been challenged, strengthened, & encouraged in more ways than I can list.  After all, it’s because of her I have the guts to bust a move on the dance floor.  With late night talks, fabulous eye shadow application, marshmallow fights, guitar hero competitions & the richness of life found in the depth of her character… here’s to you my friend; I’m so glad you were born.

 

 

 

“Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.”

I still think my high school years were great.  My friends, the games, events & trips. 

Let me clarify, I don’t wear my letter jacket – 8 years later, hanging onto the way things were.

But I do look back on those years with complete satisfaction and no regret.  Sometimes I think my experience was an exception to the typical teenage experience.  Yes, those years had difficult moments and I hated everyday of Chemistry, especially when the teacher called on me, knowing I didn’t have the answer and made me feel like a complete idiot in front of the class.  Overall, I’m happy with the legacy I left and the stories that are at least 10 years old, and are still being written.

My experience must be why I love spending time with high school students today.  In the midst of the media, retail stores, & the stories that we hear, these students give me hope when it seems the world has pegged this generation otherwise.  Last Wednesday night, the sophomores from our small group met outside at a park.  We didn’t have much of an agenda, but I felt in my heart, it was time to dive a little deeper.  We talked about struggles & God’s purpose in allowing us to experience tough things.  As we went around the circle, vulnerability met safety in this place we’ve spent all school year creating.

+Family dynamics
+Post-secondary study
+Choosing friends
+Bad things happening to good people
+Self-image

I may be their leader, but it doesn’t make me any different than them.  I may have a few more stories to share, but we’re all the same.  We’re on this journey together. Doing life. Trying to figure it out.  Inviting others to come along.

The same group of girls arranged dinner at the Olive Garden to visit another group leader.  Two of the boys from our group came along.  It was a lot of fun to hang out and eat together.  One of the boys surprised me during the year when he told me he yells, screams, & swears at this parents to get them to understand.  I struggled with it.  But yesterday when the bill arrived, the boys grabbed the $96 check and paid the bill.  We insisted they not, but they insisted they do.  I was blown away by the selfless generosity.  And again, I sat back and smiled — to be a teenager, is to be in the valuable character shaping years.  Years of influence that mold and design their lives & decisions for the future. 

Though we don’t always understand them and sometimes they act like they’re not listening, they want us to keep investing in their lives.  To love them and show them how to live — that they grow up to be responsible, mature adults who love Jesus and want to make a difference in our world.

After all, who wouldn’t love these girls?!

 

All because two people fell in love.

In six months, my brother and his wife will get to hang their first picture on the wall.  They are expecting their first child in October.  It suddenly became real and exciting and I felt protective of this life as if it were my own.  I walked through the aisles of the baby department eager to find the perfect gift for this one we have yet to meet. 

As I read websites and baby blogs, I am reminded of the miracle of life and its incredible design.  This is what I learned today (www.pregnancy.org):

Week Twelve:

• Vocal cords begin to form – While perhaps not quite ready to be introduced to the nearest opera stage, your infant will use these immediately following the moment of birth.
• Those precious eyes begin to move closer together.
• Ears shift to their normal place on the side of the head
• Intestines move farther in to your child’s body
• His or her liver begins to function – Responsible for cleansing the blood, storing nutrients, and providing needed chemicals.
• The pancreas begins to produce insulin
• Guess what? Your baby’s average size is now at a whopping length: 2.13 inches (5.4cm) and weight: 0.49 ounce (14gm) 

 Spring is here and there is new life growing.  A sweet new blossom of humanity.

 

Lent Interrupted.

Two weeks into the the Lenten season and today, I knowingly modified that which I gave up for Lent.  This was a year of firsts.  I’ve never been to an Ash Wednesday service, nor have I ever given anything up for Lent.  “Why not this year?” I thought.  I didn’t give it much thought, but in an effort to be a bit healthier, I rolled them into one and declared I wouldn’t partake for the next 40 days.  What I really meant to declare was, I wouldn’t partake for as long as I could willingly make it.  The 40 days ended two days ago when I opted for one over the other.  I made it a total of 13 days.

Since my idea of trying to see how long I could make it was the wrong way to approach the Lenten tradition, I thought, why did I choose one more thing that would make me better, healthier, happier…

Why wouldn’t I choose to dedicate myself to something greater for 40 days? 

Truth is, it would cost me more.  More time, more money, more time in my car.  More of what I didn’t really want to spend.

I spent the weekend at a student campus ministry conference.  I taught a few sessions on helping hurting friends.  Thanks to Tina Turner’s inspiration, Love has everything to do with it.

Does love really win?

Maybe my Lent needed to be interupted today because since I was approaching it incorrectly to begin with, it wouldn’t be a big deal if I modified my ‘resolution’ two weeks into it.  What if, I spent the rest of Lent looking for ways to brighten other people’s day?  What if, I start going out of my way to create conversation, share a meal, or even a smile?  Do I believe in love and that it can change the world?  Did I really think the sessions I taught this last weekend was only for the students?

If so, I’ve missed it.  “Love wins” is as much for me as it is for you and it was for them this weekend.

It was a good thing my lent was interupted because it’s given me another chance to rearrange my priorities and be the difference I want to see.  It might mean making a pan of lasagna that will feed more people than those in my home who already have plenty.  It might mean paying for my gas, not at the pump where I don’t have to talk to anyone, but by going inside to see the attendant.  It might mean paying for the coffee of the person behind me.

Lent.  Random acts of kindness.

I like that better than my quest to not drink pop for another 27 days.

 

Love Letter.

With Valentines Day just around the corner; love is in the air.   There are articles and blogs all over the internet for gift ideas for him or her, cheap but fun dates, and Valentines Day tips for singles.  Some dread the holiday, while others, well, love it.  I came across a letter today, from a husband to his wife.  It touched my heart in a special way and gave me hope, that this year this couple is choosing to celebrate each other, their history, the good and the bad, and everything yet to come.

 

Happy Valentines Day to a very special couple.

 

 

 

To:                                             My Wife

 Date:                                         February 11, 2008 

Is love never having to say your sorry? Then we have failed.  Although, failure breaths success.    The commitment you make to love, honor and cherish each other until death … though good times and bad.  And there will be bad times but they’re not just words being said or used.  That intrinsic understanding you have of each others wants and needs.  True love endures through it all and I have found that person of 26 years, 2 months and 24 days ago this Valentines Day and life couldn’t be better.

Happy Valentines Day, Love

 

To 2008.

I can almost smell it in the air.  2008 is going to be a good year. 

We finished another chapter of life one week ago today.  For me, I was fully enjoying those last moments in a Thai Village with both new & old friends.  Eariler in the day, a few of us scurried around making the final preparations for the New Year’s festivities planned for the night.

As I waited in line at Party City, I stood amid the long lines of Christmas clearance shoppers and New Year’s Eve Party goers.  I picked out my noise maker and practiced it a few times as my friend stood with his box of confetti poppers.  The stress of the holidays and the unmentioned pressure people feel around this time of year was probably the cause for the glare I received during my noise maker practice session.  As that lady continued to express additional frustration  to her small child, I realized the beginning of a new year does not mean everyone wakes up on January 1 without remants of the previous year, reminding them of success or failure, satisfaction or regret.

I’m uncertain what will be in 2008.  And though there are probably reminders of 2007 still showing up in this new year, the significance of January 1 has maybe more to do with our response to what has been and continues to linger close to us.  Take small steps to make changes.  Next year at this time you won’t believe the progress you’ve made.

Thanks to my old & new friends and probably due to the hysterical events surrounding the new year, this year will be unlike any other I have lived thus far.

I have laughed more & I have been more tired. I have been more hopeful, & I have been more determined & excited about life — 7 days into this new year, than any other new year so far. 

I have great family & great friends.  When I’m discontent with my day job, I get to become an energetic swimming instructor at night — which is a role kids told me all weekend I can do, and I’m finally starting to believe them.  With travels, celebrations & goals to be met this year — 2008 will be 365 days of living, because though I am hopeful about the future, we don’t know what will be tomorrow. 

To 2007 — a fantastic year of refreshing travel, new friends & adventures, & a rejuvenated outlook on life. 

May 2008 be that and so much more.

Cheers!

 

27: Do The Rules, Even when Your Friends & Parents Think It’s Nuts

1.  I was standing in line at Caribou this week and the barista asked this guy in front of me the daily trivia question, “Who is the actor who starred in the Santa Claus?”  The guy says, “Oh, his name is Tim, but I can’t think of his last name.”  The barista looks at me and I answer, “Allen.  It’s Tim Allen.”  The guy in front of me thanks me for helping him with the triva (since I saved him $.10, or $.05 since I helped with 50% of the answer).  The barista tells me it’s his last visit to this Caribou because he just got a new job.  The guy proceeds to tell me where he is currently working.  We small talk for a few minutes and I resolved that people at Caribou are much friendlier during the day than later at night.  The barista called my drink, we exchanged the “Have a nice day!” and continued on our way.  The guy and his friend walk out the door and sit in the vehicle they borrowed from the dealership.  I sat next to the window, attempting to begin my “work from home” day.  I thought, “what if this guy walked back in and picked up where the converstaion left off? That would be crazy.”  A few minutes passed and the guy gets out of his vehicle and walks back into Caribou.  He glanced at me, but continued on his way to purchase another drink (apparenly the $49 he already spent, wasn’t enough).  Maybe on my next “work from home” day…

2.  I was driving home from work yesterday and I called my friend who typically expects my call between 4:30 – 5:00 every day.  I’m not sure how, but the convo slid directly into a topic on love.  Long story short, he’s giving up on love.  He has lost all hope and confidence in it and has no desire to ever pursue it.  What happened to his story and his experience that would create such a negative attitude towards something with enough power to change the world? 

Would it make it any easier if there was an availability code we all wore?  You know, the code would convey a message we wanted to send.  Such as,

“Not interested. Don’t even try.”
“I have a boyfriend.”
“I’m married.”
“I’d like to get to know you.”

Some days, it would be great to have a code that revealed the truth — that somehow, it would make the whole dating process easier.

There’s this group of single girls I know and a couple weeks ago they declared, “We’re hot, single, beautiful, happening gals with everything a hot guy doesn’t deserve. Ha. Who wouldn’t want to date us?!”  But people occassionally tell them that guys are intimidated by them.  What does that mean?!  Personally, I guess it’s worth the wait to meet a guy who actually has the courage or the … to ask one of these ‘intimidating’ girls out on a date. 

I suppose the ‘availability code’ would only add to the game that we don’t want to play and would probably make the chase and pursuit less exciting.  After all, what do people really have to lose? 

Until then, we’ll keep doing the rules — even when our friends & parents think it’s nuts…