Fears

One of my youth group girls posted this note and I thought it was so great, I needed to re-post it.
Thanks Danielle!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Marianne Williamson

 

His name is Silver.

Day encounters with people are part of a world unseen by many.  Since most people work and the majority of people who don’t work, have kids — lots of people miss out on the world experienced by the rest.  When I take a moment to leave my small world of figuring out my future, I step into a world where I wish I would find myself more often.

I stopped at our favorite Red Box location.  Hesitant to step into the bubble of the older man who was hovering between the box and the new release sign, I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him if he was picking out a movie.  Confused, he excitedly replied, “Oh no sweetie! I don’t rent movies, I buy them!”  I laughed as I thought how expensive his habit could become.  At that moment, we began a 20 minute discourse about movies.  I learned Silver has 10 rubbermaid bins full of dvds at home.  He buys 4-5 dvds a week — but only on “New Release Tuesday.”  He recommended I save my money on Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, but I really should see The Proposal.  As with people in general, I observed some funny quirks of this older man who wishes he had grandchildren.  After all, he always buys the kid movies too…just in case.

But then Silver said something that will stick with me.  I asked him why he buys movies he’s never heard of when he could rent them for much cheaper.  He responds, “Well, I don’t work anymore.  What else am I supposed to do with my time?!”  We both laughed, but I felt a piece of my heart break for him.

According to Silver, he buys 4-5 movies a week at $17 (roughly) a piece.  That is $340 a month.

He grabs my arm and says, “It was a pleasure to meet you Karianne.  I hope to see you around here again sometime.”  And so I began to think about Silver as he rolled his cart out the door and loaded his purchase into his shiny white Escalade.

It was an interesting interaction that probably wouldn’t have happened outside of the working day and yet, it was so challenging.  As I consider the dreams and visions for my life, I am reminded of the huge opportunity before me to live for myself or to pursue others in intentional ways.

I hope I run into Silver at the Red Box again.  If I do, I’ll know it was a God moment — designed for me to leave Silver inspired with a sense of hope.  Who knows, it’s one mile of a million, but if Silver finds more than the latest movie he doesn’t own, the author of my story will smile at the wonder of His people who decide to do something that awakens another.

 

just nice.

Some people are just nice.  I’m not talking friends or family, but those stranger to stranger encounters that we all have from time to time.  You know those people who know no strangers? 

I met lots of new people last weekend.  Some are still nameless, while others were very personable.  I suppose we had a few things in common.  I’m a bride (soon-to-be) and they love everything wedding.  Naturally, we go together.

All over town, in random places, people waved, smiled, shouted their congratulations, and even wished me a happy wedding day.  This happened all night long.  In one place, a girl (soon-to-be-bride herself) sat down next to me and started asking all about my wedding plans.  It seemed odd to have someone (a stranger) so interested in my day.  Then, she explains she’s a bride too and shares with me a few exciting details planned for her day and then wishes me the best for the future.  As she went on her way, she left me questioning my own niceness to strangers.

How often do I share in the happiness of a total stranger and add to their excitement of a special time in their lives? 
How often do I express well wishes for the future or empathize along with them?

Like the countless people who were just nice to me, I was reminded me of the natural goodness of people.  It’s there.  Although it’s sometimes buried deeper in some — I learned I should not underestimate the niceness in people.  And maybe I should be more generous in spreading niceness on a daily basis.

It feels good.  To be nice (not to be confused with courteous) with strangers.  Try it.  It made my day.  And sometimes it might be what you need at that very moment.

 

Convenience and a Turkey Sub

An old friend of mine originally submitted this for publication with Relevant Magazine (https://www.relevantmagazine.com/features-reviews/life/2272). 
I came across it today and thought it was a good reminder.  Thanks Ryan for your inspiring thoughts.  I hope you’re still writing.

Convenience and a Turkey Sub
by Ryan Igielski

Job. Not the occupation you either like or dislike. Not the thing you go to certain days between Sunday and Saturday. The person. A man that was put through the ultimate test. Here’s the FoodSaver Plus version: Read Job 1-2. He didn’t worship God out of what he could get out of the relationship with Him. He worshipped Him because he loved the character of God, how God never failed him and how God provided everything for him. So many of us—I’m talking mostly about Americans, because I am one, but this is not limited to only Americans—love all the things God does for us. So much so that it seems to me that we often like those things he does for us more than we love God himself.

** pause for a deep breath **

Please stop, take a deep breath, don’t become defensive, and understand that I’m not saying this for all people, all Americans or for all of us all the time. This MAY be the case for SOME people SOME of the time. There are some times that I’m guilty of this train of thought, so I tend to think there are others who think similarly as well. Now that we’re not reading this defensively, please continue.

** take another deep breath because they just feel good **

We like when God heals, when God intervenes in tough times, and when He provides for us when we never think possible. For example, right now I have a nagging cough. I’ve thought several times, “It sure would be nice if God healed me.” But why? So I could tell of the awesome work God has done in my life and let it be a testimony to His name? Or, so I can be alleviated of the inconvenience this cough has been and tell no one that it was God who healed me? After all, I’ve served God for so long, He owes me.

Let me clear one thing up: God owes us nothing. We owe Him everything. But as humans created with a human nature, sometimes we think God owes us favors for how often we go to church and for reading our Bibles.

On my way to worship team practice one night I wanted to stop at Subway on my way. I had about a 15-minute drive, and I passed one Subway that was about a half mile off the road I was on. Out of my complete laziness, I thought, “There’s got to be one closer than this. I know there’s one downtown that I can go to and that’s right on my way to church.” Five minutes later, I passed another one and it still wasn’t the one downtown yet.

I knew the one downtown was still there too, but this one was only twenty-five feet off the road I was driving on. “Couldn’t get much closer than that,” I thought. So it was there that I got my turkey sub on wheat with mayo and everything but jalapenos and olives on it.

As I was walking out the door, sub in hand, I began to reflect on what had just happened. I wanted to go to the Subway that was most convenient and the least amount out of my way and at that moment I thought to myself, “How often is my relationship with God like that? Is that what I want? Convenience? Blessings?” Yes all of those things are nice, but then this picture of Job flashed across my mind. He wasn’t a guy that served God out of convenience or because of what God could DO for him. He served God because God came first. God wasn’t some addition he added to his busy life that we Americans are so guilty of sometimes. God was Job’s life. He was what he lived for everyday.

At that moment, I came to the realization that I do not want to be someone that serves God out of convenience or because of what God can DO for me—I look for Subways that way. I don’t want to search out the heart of God in the same way I search for a turkey sub.

I want to desire God for who He is, not for what He does.

Yes, He does so much for us, and trust me I’m grateful for that, but may that not be the reason I desire to spend time with Him and chase after the plans He has for me. May I chase after Him because of His character and because He desires to spend time with me. One of the worst gifts anyone can give someone is the gift of convenient time. I’m not talking about fitting people into our schedules—time management is a good thing. I’m referring to the I’ll-hang-out-with-you-because-there’s-something-in-it-for-me mentality.

If friendships are based on that self-serving mentality, they are not going to last very long. People catch on. And if people catch on, the God that knows every intention of our heart catches on as well.

This really hit home in my heart, and in thinking this, it was a bit of a letdown for me because I thought of the many times my relationship with God has taken the passenger seat to something else that really wasn’t more important. The reality is that nothing can be more important.

“God isn’t looking for religious people; He’s looking for people who are hot after His heart. He wants people who want Him, who want the Blesser more than the blessings.” –Tommy Tenney, The God Chasers, p. 149.

May it be my heart’s desire to unlock the heart of Job inside of me and put God first over everything else and, in doing so, “want the Blesser more than the blessings.” And may I chase after God simply for who He is, not what He can do for me.

 

Well said…

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

“Now that you have raised your sail, be sure to set sail and stay sailing. Its one thing to leave harbor, but its another to stay sailing, even if theres no wind. But you know what they say, if theres no wind, row. I believe in you. Ill for sure see you when we anchor on shore, until then hopefully our boats will cross paths.”

Thank you.

 

Certain in Uncertainity

For the second time, the stories from a village in Africa have driven me to find strength and hope in uncertain days.  But I didn’t think I’d be speaking to myself; preparing myself for what would happen in the next few days.

After an incredibly refreshing (and exciting) long weekend in the sunshine state, I was welcomed home with the news no one wants to hear.  The company I work for is closing it’s doors.  This Friday, I will be added to the statistic of an ever growing state of difficulty in our economy.

But for one of the first times in my life after receiving life changing news, I’m upbeat about it.  Though the days ahead will again, be tough; I’m excited for them to begin because I know greater things are yet to come.

I read on April 29, in the most brilliant writing of Oswald Chambers’,
My Utmost for His Highest:

“To be certain of God mean that we are uncertain in all our ways.  We do not know what a day may bring forth.  This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation.  We are uncertain of the next steps, but we are certain of God.  When we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainity and expectancy.  Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come.  Remain loyal to Him.”

I am not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He will do next.

 

Untamed Faith.

I love this.

“Where God will choose to lead you and how God chooses to use your life cannot be predicted by how God has worked in the lives of other before you.  ‘If I want John to live and you to die, what is it to you?  Your part is to follow Me.  My part is to lead the way.’”

“We’ve created a religious culture in which – even though we’re the most blessed society in the history of the planet – our best selling literature still focuses on how we can be more blessed.” 

He continues,

“And if it means a life of suffering, hardship, and disappointment, it will be worth it because following Jesus Christ is more powerful and more fulfilling than living with everything in the world minus Him.”

“Rather than living a long life, are you willing to live a life worth living?”

 
McManus, Erwin (2005). The Barbarian Way, 2, 37-49.
http://erwinmcmanus.com/barbarianway

 

She’s shaping tomorrow.

If she could make a toast and celebrate you; she’d lift her glass and say a few words.

It’s been quite the journey on a long, winding road.

The early years never saw a cloudy day in 32821.

She remembers the beginning, sitting in her suite at school, wanting to be anywhere but there.  Those fifteen weeks were some of the toughest weeks she’d ever known.  But somehow, it made it a little easier, knowing her friend was having some of the toughest days of her life too.  The quest to figure it out — what to do, who to be, kept the pursuit of something greater seeming within reach most days.  Sometimes she needed a shove and other days she needed to be carried.  As those days became stories, the characters started writing chapters in other books.

They both fell in love with different genres.  No matter how hard they tried to write chapters in each other’s books, it didn’t flow as well as they hoped.  They definitely influenced each other’s writing in big ways.  They shared a common theme to change the world, but they couldn’t agree on the driving force behind their ambition.  The inspiration they felt began to swell and she knew she had to make some adjustments.  Her writing took her all over the world — pursuing the depths of love and hope.  When she came back home, she wasn’t the same. 

But her friend wasn’t the same either.  She began opening doors and exploring the possibilities before her.  A whole new world was waiting at her doorstep and with eager anticipation, she took a step and then another.  Her speed picked up and she was headed west. 

She looked back a few times.  At first, her friend wasn’t too far behind.  Some days growing weary in the race, while other days their friendship seemed to be headed in the right direction.  However, one day when she turned around, her friend was further in the distance; she could hardly recognize her face.  She quickly turned around and started running towards her friend.  She approached a roadblock.  She tried to go around, go over, go under — but failed at all attempts to get beyond.  She stood for a while and watched her friend fade into the east.

Her friend had been such an inspiration to her over the years.  She was strength and encouragement.  She was hope and love.  She knew because of her friend, she couldn’t stand at the roadblock, but she had to turn back around and run again, in the direction she was first headed.  This time alone, she was hopeful her heart was telling her to do the right thing.  Hopeful the journey would refine her and make her into the person she was beoming.  Hopeful if she continued in this direction, their paths would cross again. 

After all, east will eventually meet west, right?  And when they meet again, their lives will be rich for the time they spent alone, writing and adding to the stories of their lives.  They will celebrate the goals they’ve acheived and the lesssons they’ve learned.  Some days may bring a slow step while others seem to be a sprint.  But they will be different.  There is no denying the journey and it’s powerful influence.  One day, they will stand on the other side, grateful for the push in the right direction because one tough day in the past made them pursue everything they wanted to become and the ways they always hoped to change the world.

She’s sure she’ll lift her glass and offer a toast to her friend one day.  It might sound something like this, “I’m proud of your courage and your determination to go in the direction of your dreams.  You faced difficult and lonely days I’m sure.  But there was hope in your step as you sought to rid your life of safe places.  Being unsure of the future and the possibilities of change can sometimes make people bitter and broken.  But it’s in the broken places where you find your defining moments.  You chose to be brave.  Now look at you…”

Another chapter was written and the book became a best seller.  “Friends for life?”  She said.  “Fur real!”  She replied.  They laughed, both recalling days that seemed so long ago; yesterdays that shaped their tomorrow.

 

safe to just be.

“And God,” she continues, “Can you remind her how much we love her?  Can you help make her heart whole so she can come back soon?  I ask that you help her today and tomorrow and all her days to come.  Losing your dad is hard and I ask you’ll be with her and love her and bring her back to us.”

This is what I love.  People who start to believe hope is real.  People who are willing to be real and share how they really feel.  I love creating a place where people feel safe to just be.

I’m not quite sure what got into her this week.  She prayed for everyone in the room and let everyone else have a turn then her heart told her she had more to say.  With my eyes closed, I felt my heart smile.  I listened to her words and wished I could have recorded them for our friend she was praying for.  The few months her dad was given, was replaced by a few short weeks.  She stands firm today, giving God the glory for his perfection, especially as it brought Ellie closer to the cross.

Ellie closes, “And God, thank you for these girls and for this place I can come every week where I know people love me and want to see me  do well in life.  I’m so glad they’re here to help me.”

This is what we’re all about.  Understanding life is hard for most people, most of the time.  But you’re not alone in the places you feel stuck.  We were never meant to do life alone and our dream is to be a community where hope and love writes a better ending.

Together, we’re inviting people to come find life, find freedom, and find love.

We believe the best is yet to come as we create a place — safe to just be.

 

Thanks Coach.

I wasn’t the best and I probably wasn’t his favorite, but he made sure to give me every opportunity to succeed.  He saw something in me during those years that I didn’t see until recently.  His challenges far out-weighed the encouragement, but I knew he cared.

I remember the day our grab bag swim suits arrived from TYR.  Mine looked like a hologram.  I changed into it, excited to have the best suit out of all the grab bags.  I walked onto the pool deck and coach said to me, “The sparkle in your suit matches the sparkle in your eyes.”  It made my day.  In fact, it made my day every time I wore that suit.

Coach gave me my first swimming lessons when I was 6 months old.  My mom hated the water and refused to let her kids feel the same way.  Little did Coach know that 13.5 years later, I would be swimming on his team as one of his own.  There were days I know I made him proud and other days when I knew I disappointed him.  But he stuck with me until the end and I fought the entire way.

I wanted to make him proud.  I started to believe that I could do it and so I moved to Florida and after extensive Lifeguard training, I received my Deep-Water Lifeguard Certification.  I think he smiled.

As I watched old family videos of swimming, I decided I wanted to do for others, what so many people had done for me.  I got a job as a swim instructor at a great swim school in MN.  After extensive and on-going training, I taught my first session.  I didn’t think I’d be able to do it, but I stuck with it like Coach taught me.  I recently began my 4th session at the swim school and I love the challenges I face each week.

Thanks Coach — for all the years of inspiration, encouragement, and challenge.  You’ve left a legacy that will not be forgotten.  I’ll teach my 8 classes of little swimmers this Saturday in your honor.