She’s shaping tomorrow.

If she could make a toast and celebrate you; she’d lift her glass and say a few words.

It’s been quite the journey on a long, winding road.

The early years never saw a cloudy day in 32821.

She remembers the beginning, sitting in her suite at school, wanting to be anywhere but there.  Those fifteen weeks were some of the toughest weeks she’d ever known.  But somehow, it made it a little easier, knowing her friend was having some of the toughest days of her life too.  The quest to figure it out — what to do, who to be, kept the pursuit of something greater seeming within reach most days.  Sometimes she needed a shove and other days she needed to be carried.  As those days became stories, the characters started writing chapters in other books.

They both fell in love with different genres.  No matter how hard they tried to write chapters in each other’s books, it didn’t flow as well as they hoped.  They definitely influenced each other’s writing in big ways.  They shared a common theme to change the world, but they couldn’t agree on the driving force behind their ambition.  The inspiration they felt began to swell and she knew she had to make some adjustments.  Her writing took her all over the world — pursuing the depths of love and hope.  When she came back home, she wasn’t the same. 

But her friend wasn’t the same either.  She began opening doors and exploring the possibilities before her.  A whole new world was waiting at her doorstep and with eager anticipation, she took a step and then another.  Her speed picked up and she was headed west. 

She looked back a few times.  At first, her friend wasn’t too far behind.  Some days growing weary in the race, while other days their friendship seemed to be headed in the right direction.  However, one day when she turned around, her friend was further in the distance; she could hardly recognize her face.  She quickly turned around and started running towards her friend.  She approached a roadblock.  She tried to go around, go over, go under — but failed at all attempts to get beyond.  She stood for a while and watched her friend fade into the east.

Her friend had been such an inspiration to her over the years.  She was strength and encouragement.  She was hope and love.  She knew because of her friend, she couldn’t stand at the roadblock, but she had to turn back around and run again, in the direction she was first headed.  This time alone, she was hopeful her heart was telling her to do the right thing.  Hopeful the journey would refine her and make her into the person she was beoming.  Hopeful if she continued in this direction, their paths would cross again. 

After all, east will eventually meet west, right?  And when they meet again, their lives will be rich for the time they spent alone, writing and adding to the stories of their lives.  They will celebrate the goals they’ve acheived and the lesssons they’ve learned.  Some days may bring a slow step while others seem to be a sprint.  But they will be different.  There is no denying the journey and it’s powerful influence.  One day, they will stand on the other side, grateful for the push in the right direction because one tough day in the past made them pursue everything they wanted to become and the ways they always hoped to change the world.

She’s sure she’ll lift her glass and offer a toast to her friend one day.  It might sound something like this, “I’m proud of your courage and your determination to go in the direction of your dreams.  You faced difficult and lonely days I’m sure.  But there was hope in your step as you sought to rid your life of safe places.  Being unsure of the future and the possibilities of change can sometimes make people bitter and broken.  But it’s in the broken places where you find your defining moments.  You chose to be brave.  Now look at you…”

Another chapter was written and the book became a best seller.  “Friends for life?”  She said.  “Fur real!”  She replied.  They laughed, both recalling days that seemed so long ago; yesterdays that shaped their tomorrow.

 

the words on his page.

“I never in my heart ever wanted to give it all up.

I understand.

Sometimes I get tunnel vision and I only see what is in front of me and I am unable to see the bigger picture.

Because of your strength and your trust in God, unlike me lately, you have been able to focus.

I have forgotten the many things you’ve done for me.  The ways you allowed me to be in your life.

How much you’ve loved, given, and prayed.

All those times.  It was because you did.

I realize now, why you invest so much into your relationship with God.

He makes you whole when you’re empty. He loves you when you feel you’re not loveable. He forgives when you’re at your worst. He is there when you are loneliest. He makes you tall when you are small. You know everything is going to be alright even when things couldn’t be any worse. You know deep down, God has a plan and you’re not afraid. He makes you strong and keeps you together, even when you think you’re falling apart.

I was up all night. Talking with God I suppose. Today I told him that I was going to try to trust him and that I was going to keep on walking, trusting that he would guide in the right direction. I felt a little less alone this morning. I felt a little spark inside me this morning when I was talking to him. Im trusting and hoping maybe that was his doing. Im trusting and hoping he will clear the fog, give me clarity and the strength to walk in the right direction whatever that may be.

Lately I have been praying to God, to guide me, to direct me, or to give me some kind of sign. Maybe I havent been looking hard enough and the sign is right under my nose. Im not even sure anymore. Sometimes I feel like im waiting. Waiting for something. And I just dont know what Im waiting for. Its like this feeling inside me wanting to, break out. I can feel it right now, right in my chest. Its feels like this living thing inside me, and its waiting for the right moment to show itself. The feeling is strong and some what powerful. Sometimes at the right moments I can feel flow through my veins, but then it fades. It flows when I see, hear, and feel certain things, sometimes all at the once. Its a feeling thats feels so right, like you were meant see, hear, or feel it at that very moment. So right in fact, It sends shivers down my spine, and leaves me with goose bumps.”

It isnt’t what, it is why.
His journey. Many steps.
We’re all still becoming.
Each day. One foot in front of the other.
Doing life and writing stories.

You know who you are.

Keep laughing. Keep dreaming. Keep living. Keep walking. Keep exploring. Keep loving.

 

Stop. Smell the flowers.

I went on a quest to get creative on a special day.  The more I thought about her reaction, the more excited I became.  I called my mom to tell her my plan.  I stopped by Flowers at the Park and arranged a small vase of some favorites.  The hot pinks, reds, and greens reminded me of something out of a Martha Stewart magazine.  It was perfect.  I drove to work and as soon as I peered in the door, I saw her sitting behind the desk.  “Happy Birthday tomorrow!” I exclaimed with flowers in hand.  “It’s actually today!” She responded with a big smile on her face.  “Good thing I’m on time!” I said, handing her the colored assortment.  We laughed as we typically do and we unpacked the vase and picked a place where many could enjoy the sweet smells for the day.

I didn’t expect her to be sitting at work already and I didn’t realize today was actually her birthday (I thought it was tomorrow).  If I was in her shoes, today would be a rough day.  With little kids at home and a sudden divorce on the horizon, I decided there had to be a way to make her day bright.  This birthday was going to be a little different as life has changed much in the recent months, so I decided it was a quest of mine to bring some joy and sunshine to what could’ve been a cloudy day.

I haven’t seen her smile so big in months.  As I drove away, my heart was lightened.  I smiled and could hardly contain my happiness, I had to update my mom to let her know how the plan unfolded.  As I think about her smile and the joy I felt knowing that her day was a little sunnier, I realized, this celebration of life has to continue.

Life is too short not to stop and smell the flowers.
Happy Birthday friend!

 

Going the Distance

I bet he will never realize how powerful his words were that day.  I sat in front of the computer, trying to figure out how to format his ipod and transfer thousands of his songs to his macbook, and I declared, “I can’t do this, I don’t know how!”  He sat back, fairly upset with me and said, “How do you know you can’t, you haven’t even tried!” He was right, I hadn’t really tried.  I guess thinking I can’t was an excuse that I didn’t want to — but for some reason, I willingly volunteered to pretend like I could.

Since then, every time I try something new and think about giving up, I’m reminded of that frustrating exchange of dialogue, three years ago.  I’ve conquered all sorts of things in the last few years.  Things I never thought I would have accomplished.  Each time, thinking, I can’t quit now.

I recently tried a new water sport and as I was crouched in the water waiting for the boat to take off, I thought — I’m gonna do this.  At that moment it felt good to prove him wrong, that I am trying to learn and do new things.

I’m still unsure why I thought it would be fun to run the TC 10 in October.  As each foot hits the ground in the last week, it’s really easy for me to think that I can’t do this — that I will never be able to make 10 miles.  If I don’t change my attitude, I will definitely bail on this whole deal.

As with many of us, when it gets too hard, we quit.  School, the job, relationships — we drop out of our commitment.  We give up, we give in — we call it quits.

I’m working on adjusting my attitude when I have to run when I don’t feel like it.  It’s a great thing I have such fantastic friends who encourage me to keep pushing — to feel the burn and finish strong.  We’ve decided on a quote that really defines us in this race of life, “The real race is not in finshing first, but in crossing the line.”  Because we need each other, we will continue to cheer one another on — toward the same goal — to finish strong.

We were not created to do life alone.  We need people to help us go the distance.  To help us refine our perspective, our determination, and our confidence.  Together, we can.

 

EBC Running Club

The EBC Running Club made their proud debut last night at the Torchlight Race.  It was one of the best things our group has done together this year.  It’s taken a long time, but I am starting to see growth in so many areas in these ladies.  It’s the beauty of a small group.  People who come together for a similar purpose — to grow in their faith and relationships with other people in similar stages of life.  I’m so glad that when leading got tough and lonely this year, we didn’t give up — but we kept pressing in because if we would have done what I wanted to do, we would have missed out on such beautiful transformation in our lives.  It’s so exciting to be a small part of God’s glorious plan for our lives.

Interested in joining the EBC Running Club?  I’ll get you in contact with the one who created the group with the purpose to encourage and challenge people while enjoying similar interests in life.  Life is so much about the journey and those you invite to run with you.

Awesome job girls!!

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”  Hebrews 12:1

 

This is what I saw.

I looked in the mirror on Friday.  At first, I wasn’t really sure what I saw.  But, the longer I looked, the more familiar the face became.  It was the first annual Freedom Weekend that kicked it off.  But time changes people and/or friendships and although we didn’t celebrate what would have been a third annual celebratory weekend this year (or last year), I’m thankful for those times with friends where things pick up, right where they were left.

I think most of us have our groups of people in life.  Those who have known us longer than others.  Those who make you laugh so hard – you wonder how you get through each day without them.  Those who are mere acquaintances, and yet, there are those who not only support or encourage your dreams — but they completely understand, and sometimes, talking to them makes you feel like you’re looking in a mirror.

And so we both looked in the mirror for a long time.  Probably more amazed that we saw so much of each other in ourselves.  I’ve enlisted her to join my team and she’s been assigned a task.  It’s an important role, one that I believe nobody else in my life could complete with everything I’d want it to include.  I would fail at finding a way to describe how and what, but in her perfect gifting, she will find a way to make it just as it should be.  Because we just get each other.  Because when we talk about a goal for our life with one another, what I see in the mirror isn’t just me, but someone who gets it like I do.

Conversations or the equivelant to — is where you will find her.  And you’ll want to keep your eye on this one because we’re both emerging into a place in the unknown that is vulnerable, yet enjoyable.  You don’t want to miss out.  Trust me.

 

As iron sharpens iron.

I have some of the greatest friends in the world.  We have been through some of life’s greatest moments together.  Graduations, travels, engagements and weddings.  But some of my favorites with my besties are those times when you realize that time, distance, and life change doesn’t do what most would think it does, when in fact it strengthens the bond of friendship.  We’ve been through some tough times together and after spending five days with them to celebrate Tommy & Amy’s wedding day, I am reminded of the life-long bond we share.  Amy, Di, & I sat in the living room one night and talked for hours.  We laughed, we cried, and we sat in silence for a while – and to me, it was one of the best conversations we’ve ever shared.  For the first time, I was sure of the depth of our relationship.  Knowing they were some of my best for the last 8 years, there were things I was afraid to let them in on — things I thought would create a divide between us. But, thanks to God for His work in my life, I am shown the undying love of my closest, especially in my most difficult times.  And again, for the first time, the confidence of our friendship experienced a new depth.  These girls lives reflect the love of Christ through the strength of their character.   I am blessed to call them my bests.

 

 

“Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.”

I still think my high school years were great.  My friends, the games, events & trips. 

Let me clarify, I don’t wear my letter jacket – 8 years later, hanging onto the way things were.

But I do look back on those years with complete satisfaction and no regret.  Sometimes I think my experience was an exception to the typical teenage experience.  Yes, those years had difficult moments and I hated everyday of Chemistry, especially when the teacher called on me, knowing I didn’t have the answer and made me feel like a complete idiot in front of the class.  Overall, I’m happy with the legacy I left and the stories that are at least 10 years old, and are still being written.

My experience must be why I love spending time with high school students today.  In the midst of the media, retail stores, & the stories that we hear, these students give me hope when it seems the world has pegged this generation otherwise.  Last Wednesday night, the sophomores from our small group met outside at a park.  We didn’t have much of an agenda, but I felt in my heart, it was time to dive a little deeper.  We talked about struggles & God’s purpose in allowing us to experience tough things.  As we went around the circle, vulnerability met safety in this place we’ve spent all school year creating.

+Family dynamics
+Post-secondary study
+Choosing friends
+Bad things happening to good people
+Self-image

I may be their leader, but it doesn’t make me any different than them.  I may have a few more stories to share, but we’re all the same.  We’re on this journey together. Doing life. Trying to figure it out.  Inviting others to come along.

The same group of girls arranged dinner at the Olive Garden to visit another group leader.  Two of the boys from our group came along.  It was a lot of fun to hang out and eat together.  One of the boys surprised me during the year when he told me he yells, screams, & swears at this parents to get them to understand.  I struggled with it.  But yesterday when the bill arrived, the boys grabbed the $96 check and paid the bill.  We insisted they not, but they insisted they do.  I was blown away by the selfless generosity.  And again, I sat back and smiled — to be a teenager, is to be in the valuable character shaping years.  Years of influence that mold and design their lives & decisions for the future. 

Though we don’t always understand them and sometimes they act like they’re not listening, they want us to keep investing in their lives.  To love them and show them how to live — that they grow up to be responsible, mature adults who love Jesus and want to make a difference in our world.

After all, who wouldn’t love these girls?!

 

Snow. Tulips. 5 years. Beaches.

It was a day of unexpected happenings. 

Fully knowing better, I risked the 25 years of Midwest winter experience and packed up the sweaters over the weekend.  Of course I exchanged the winter line-up for summer clothing in hopes I would be fooled into thinking those clothes would be like new again and I really didn’t need to update the wardrobe with the change of season.  So far so good.  But we’re only on day 4.  I woke up Monday morning and looked across the field to find a fresh covering of cold whiteness covering the ground.  Overnight, it accumulated to a slushy mess that made the morning commute a bit longer than normal. Yet with a late start and the gradual start into the day — it couldn’t have been any better, unless of course it was just a dream and summer was really here.

One of my favorites of spring is watching the colored assortment of tulips push through the surface of the recently thawed ground.  An unexpected visit accompanied by a single pink tulip was a gentle reminder of the life found in the spring season.  With Easter around the corner, the representation of newness was just the stimulus needed on a wintery, spring day in Minnesota. 

As the last 5 years have passed, so has the contact of a close friend.  After years of failed search attempts — we found each other again.  It made me feel less stalkerish when she mentioned she’s tried searching for me for years.  There are 5 years of stories, experiences, tears, & joy that we could probably spend at least a weekend catching up.  Then again,  we’ll need another weekend reminiscing about the good ol days when we lived together in the sunshine state.

Sun kissed skin and pictures of blue waters on sandy shores brought the day to a close as the two of us caught up on the last few weeks of life.  With major life changes on the horizon, I know days quite like these will soon end, but a new season will surface and the journey of transformation will continue.

 Today, I am grateful for those who get to share life with me.  Three different people with very different stories, yet for some reason, our stories weaved together for a time — a time to celebrate what was, and is, and is to come.

Unexpected happenings steered a day of otherwise typical events into a dance of fresh air.

Life is good.

 

To 2008.

I can almost smell it in the air.  2008 is going to be a good year. 

We finished another chapter of life one week ago today.  For me, I was fully enjoying those last moments in a Thai Village with both new & old friends.  Eariler in the day, a few of us scurried around making the final preparations for the New Year’s festivities planned for the night.

As I waited in line at Party City, I stood amid the long lines of Christmas clearance shoppers and New Year’s Eve Party goers.  I picked out my noise maker and practiced it a few times as my friend stood with his box of confetti poppers.  The stress of the holidays and the unmentioned pressure people feel around this time of year was probably the cause for the glare I received during my noise maker practice session.  As that lady continued to express additional frustration  to her small child, I realized the beginning of a new year does not mean everyone wakes up on January 1 without remants of the previous year, reminding them of success or failure, satisfaction or regret.

I’m uncertain what will be in 2008.  And though there are probably reminders of 2007 still showing up in this new year, the significance of January 1 has maybe more to do with our response to what has been and continues to linger close to us.  Take small steps to make changes.  Next year at this time you won’t believe the progress you’ve made.

Thanks to my old & new friends and probably due to the hysterical events surrounding the new year, this year will be unlike any other I have lived thus far.

I have laughed more & I have been more tired. I have been more hopeful, & I have been more determined & excited about life — 7 days into this new year, than any other new year so far. 

I have great family & great friends.  When I’m discontent with my day job, I get to become an energetic swimming instructor at night — which is a role kids told me all weekend I can do, and I’m finally starting to believe them.  With travels, celebrations & goals to be met this year — 2008 will be 365 days of living, because though I am hopeful about the future, we don’t know what will be tomorrow. 

To 2007 — a fantastic year of refreshing travel, new friends & adventures, & a rejuvenated outlook on life. 

May 2008 be that and so much more.

Cheers!