An unexpected bump.

We walked out the door towards her car when she thanked me for being unemployed.  I laughed and said, “Well, it definitely has it’s good days!”  She laughed and responds with, “Today, I’m glad you were home.”

I wasn’t quite sure what I thought of her when I first started working with her.  Personality conflicts sometimes get the best of two people trying to get to know each other.  But, we pushed through it.  And I’m so glad we did.  Because today, we’re no longer two people who work together, but we’ve become those friends who have started to get comfortable, getting uncomfortable.

Like so many families, couples — married and single, she’s now facing life on her own.  Thought I’m unsure of what the next days will be like –  the territory seemed familiar.  Not for myself, personally, but in helping someone walk into tomorrow with confidence.  I began the process last week with some of my deepest loves in  life.  I’ve really realized that loss in relationship, no matter what the length of time has been, hurts.  It hurts the deepest part of your being.  Grief is difficult. 

I looked at her from across the table as she was getting ready to leave.  And I thought, “I can’t wait to see where she ends up.”  I thought for a brief moment how our friendship developed and how she has been a huge blessing in my life.  And then I thought about all the people praying for her at church.  A bunch of people who truly hope she finds life for her life.

The unknown of her future excites me.  And then I thought, thought it may be over, it’s not really over.  Life awaits these two beautiful ladies who hit an unexpected bump in the road.  I can’t wait to see where their paths lead.

And for that, I’m thankful for today and the opportunity I had to be a friend.  We need each other during those times we hit unexpected bumps.  To help pick up the pieces, to catch our breath, and to smile knowing we’re not alone.

Simple concept, I know, but not always easy.

 

Well said…

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

“Now that you have raised your sail, be sure to set sail and stay sailing. Its one thing to leave harbor, but its another to stay sailing, even if theres no wind. But you know what they say, if theres no wind, row. I believe in you. Ill for sure see you when we anchor on shore, until then hopefully our boats will cross paths.”

Thank you.

 

She’s shaping tomorrow.

If she could make a toast and celebrate you; she’d lift her glass and say a few words.

It’s been quite the journey on a long, winding road.

The early years never saw a cloudy day in 32821.

She remembers the beginning, sitting in her suite at school, wanting to be anywhere but there.  Those fifteen weeks were some of the toughest weeks she’d ever known.  But somehow, it made it a little easier, knowing her friend was having some of the toughest days of her life too.  The quest to figure it out — what to do, who to be, kept the pursuit of something greater seeming within reach most days.  Sometimes she needed a shove and other days she needed to be carried.  As those days became stories, the characters started writing chapters in other books.

They both fell in love with different genres.  No matter how hard they tried to write chapters in each other’s books, it didn’t flow as well as they hoped.  They definitely influenced each other’s writing in big ways.  They shared a common theme to change the world, but they couldn’t agree on the driving force behind their ambition.  The inspiration they felt began to swell and she knew she had to make some adjustments.  Her writing took her all over the world — pursuing the depths of love and hope.  When she came back home, she wasn’t the same. 

But her friend wasn’t the same either.  She began opening doors and exploring the possibilities before her.  A whole new world was waiting at her doorstep and with eager anticipation, she took a step and then another.  Her speed picked up and she was headed west. 

She looked back a few times.  At first, her friend wasn’t too far behind.  Some days growing weary in the race, while other days their friendship seemed to be headed in the right direction.  However, one day when she turned around, her friend was further in the distance; she could hardly recognize her face.  She quickly turned around and started running towards her friend.  She approached a roadblock.  She tried to go around, go over, go under — but failed at all attempts to get beyond.  She stood for a while and watched her friend fade into the east.

Her friend had been such an inspiration to her over the years.  She was strength and encouragement.  She was hope and love.  She knew because of her friend, she couldn’t stand at the roadblock, but she had to turn back around and run again, in the direction she was first headed.  This time alone, she was hopeful her heart was telling her to do the right thing.  Hopeful the journey would refine her and make her into the person she was beoming.  Hopeful if she continued in this direction, their paths would cross again. 

After all, east will eventually meet west, right?  And when they meet again, their lives will be rich for the time they spent alone, writing and adding to the stories of their lives.  They will celebrate the goals they’ve acheived and the lesssons they’ve learned.  Some days may bring a slow step while others seem to be a sprint.  But they will be different.  There is no denying the journey and it’s powerful influence.  One day, they will stand on the other side, grateful for the push in the right direction because one tough day in the past made them pursue everything they wanted to become and the ways they always hoped to change the world.

She’s sure she’ll lift her glass and offer a toast to her friend one day.  It might sound something like this, “I’m proud of your courage and your determination to go in the direction of your dreams.  You faced difficult and lonely days I’m sure.  But there was hope in your step as you sought to rid your life of safe places.  Being unsure of the future and the possibilities of change can sometimes make people bitter and broken.  But it’s in the broken places where you find your defining moments.  You chose to be brave.  Now look at you…”

Another chapter was written and the book became a best seller.  “Friends for life?”  She said.  “Fur real!”  She replied.  They laughed, both recalling days that seemed so long ago; yesterdays that shaped their tomorrow.

 

the words on his page.

“I never in my heart ever wanted to give it all up.

I understand.

Sometimes I get tunnel vision and I only see what is in front of me and I am unable to see the bigger picture.

Because of your strength and your trust in God, unlike me lately, you have been able to focus.

I have forgotten the many things you’ve done for me.  The ways you allowed me to be in your life.

How much you’ve loved, given, and prayed.

All those times.  It was because you did.

I realize now, why you invest so much into your relationship with God.

He makes you whole when you’re empty. He loves you when you feel you’re not loveable. He forgives when you’re at your worst. He is there when you are loneliest. He makes you tall when you are small. You know everything is going to be alright even when things couldn’t be any worse. You know deep down, God has a plan and you’re not afraid. He makes you strong and keeps you together, even when you think you’re falling apart.

I was up all night. Talking with God I suppose. Today I told him that I was going to try to trust him and that I was going to keep on walking, trusting that he would guide in the right direction. I felt a little less alone this morning. I felt a little spark inside me this morning when I was talking to him. Im trusting and hoping maybe that was his doing. Im trusting and hoping he will clear the fog, give me clarity and the strength to walk in the right direction whatever that may be.

Lately I have been praying to God, to guide me, to direct me, or to give me some kind of sign. Maybe I havent been looking hard enough and the sign is right under my nose. Im not even sure anymore. Sometimes I feel like im waiting. Waiting for something. And I just dont know what Im waiting for. Its like this feeling inside me wanting to, break out. I can feel it right now, right in my chest. Its feels like this living thing inside me, and its waiting for the right moment to show itself. The feeling is strong and some what powerful. Sometimes at the right moments I can feel flow through my veins, but then it fades. It flows when I see, hear, and feel certain things, sometimes all at the once. Its a feeling thats feels so right, like you were meant see, hear, or feel it at that very moment. So right in fact, It sends shivers down my spine, and leaves me with goose bumps.”

It isnt’t what, it is why.
His journey. Many steps.
We’re all still becoming.
Each day. One foot in front of the other.
Doing life and writing stories.

You know who you are.

Keep laughing. Keep dreaming. Keep living. Keep walking. Keep exploring. Keep loving.

 

Stop. Smell the flowers.

I went on a quest to get creative on a special day.  The more I thought about her reaction, the more excited I became.  I called my mom to tell her my plan.  I stopped by Flowers at the Park and arranged a small vase of some favorites.  The hot pinks, reds, and greens reminded me of something out of a Martha Stewart magazine.  It was perfect.  I drove to work and as soon as I peered in the door, I saw her sitting behind the desk.  “Happy Birthday tomorrow!” I exclaimed with flowers in hand.  “It’s actually today!” She responded with a big smile on her face.  “Good thing I’m on time!” I said, handing her the colored assortment.  We laughed as we typically do and we unpacked the vase and picked a place where many could enjoy the sweet smells for the day.

I didn’t expect her to be sitting at work already and I didn’t realize today was actually her birthday (I thought it was tomorrow).  If I was in her shoes, today would be a rough day.  With little kids at home and a sudden divorce on the horizon, I decided there had to be a way to make her day bright.  This birthday was going to be a little different as life has changed much in the recent months, so I decided it was a quest of mine to bring some joy and sunshine to what could’ve been a cloudy day.

I haven’t seen her smile so big in months.  As I drove away, my heart was lightened.  I smiled and could hardly contain my happiness, I had to update my mom to let her know how the plan unfolded.  As I think about her smile and the joy I felt knowing that her day was a little sunnier, I realized, this celebration of life has to continue.

Life is too short not to stop and smell the flowers.
Happy Birthday friend!

 

Going the Distance

I bet he will never realize how powerful his words were that day.  I sat in front of the computer, trying to figure out how to format his ipod and transfer thousands of his songs to his macbook, and I declared, “I can’t do this, I don’t know how!”  He sat back, fairly upset with me and said, “How do you know you can’t, you haven’t even tried!” He was right, I hadn’t really tried.  I guess thinking I can’t was an excuse that I didn’t want to — but for some reason, I willingly volunteered to pretend like I could.

Since then, every time I try something new and think about giving up, I’m reminded of that frustrating exchange of dialogue, three years ago.  I’ve conquered all sorts of things in the last few years.  Things I never thought I would have accomplished.  Each time, thinking, I can’t quit now.

I recently tried a new water sport and as I was crouched in the water waiting for the boat to take off, I thought — I’m gonna do this.  At that moment it felt good to prove him wrong, that I am trying to learn and do new things.

I’m still unsure why I thought it would be fun to run the TC 10 in October.  As each foot hits the ground in the last week, it’s really easy for me to think that I can’t do this — that I will never be able to make 10 miles.  If I don’t change my attitude, I will definitely bail on this whole deal.

As with many of us, when it gets too hard, we quit.  School, the job, relationships — we drop out of our commitment.  We give up, we give in — we call it quits.

I’m working on adjusting my attitude when I have to run when I don’t feel like it.  It’s a great thing I have such fantastic friends who encourage me to keep pushing — to feel the burn and finish strong.  We’ve decided on a quote that really defines us in this race of life, “The real race is not in finshing first, but in crossing the line.”  Because we need each other, we will continue to cheer one another on — toward the same goal — to finish strong.

We were not created to do life alone.  We need people to help us go the distance.  To help us refine our perspective, our determination, and our confidence.  Together, we can.

 

EBC Running Club

The EBC Running Club made their proud debut last night at the Torchlight Race.  It was one of the best things our group has done together this year.  It’s taken a long time, but I am starting to see growth in so many areas in these ladies.  It’s the beauty of a small group.  People who come together for a similar purpose — to grow in their faith and relationships with other people in similar stages of life.  I’m so glad that when leading got tough and lonely this year, we didn’t give up — but we kept pressing in because if we would have done what I wanted to do, we would have missed out on such beautiful transformation in our lives.  It’s so exciting to be a small part of God’s glorious plan for our lives.

Interested in joining the EBC Running Club?  I’ll get you in contact with the one who created the group with the purpose to encourage and challenge people while enjoying similar interests in life.  Life is so much about the journey and those you invite to run with you.

Awesome job girls!!

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”  Hebrews 12:1

 

 

This is what I saw.

I looked in the mirror on Friday.  At first, I wasn’t really sure what I saw.  But, the longer I looked, the more familiar the face became.  It was the first annual Freedom Weekend that kicked it off.  But time changes people and/or friendships and although we didn’t celebrate what would have been a third annual celebratory weekend this year (or last year), I’m thankful for those times with friends where things pick up, right where they were left.

I think most of us have our groups of people in life.  Those who have known us longer than others.  Those who make you laugh so hard – you wonder how you get through each day without them.  Those who are mere acquaintances, and yet, there are those who not only support or encourage your dreams — but they completely understand, and sometimes, talking to them makes you feel like you’re looking in a mirror.

And so we both looked in the mirror for a long time.  Probably more amazed that we saw so much of each other in ourselves.  I’ve enlisted her to join my team and she’s been assigned a task.  It’s an important role, one that I believe nobody else in my life could complete with everything I’d want it to include.  I would fail at finding a way to describe how and what, but in her perfect gifting, she will find a way to make it just as it should be.  Because we just get each other.  Because when we talk about a goal for our life with one another, what I see in the mirror isn’t just me, but someone who gets it like I do.

Conversations or the equivelant to — is where you will find her.  And you’ll want to keep your eye on this one because we’re both emerging into a place in the unknown that is vulnerable, yet enjoyable.  You don’t want to miss out.  Trust me.

 

As iron sharpens iron.

I have some of the greatest friends in the world.  We have been through some of life’s greatest moments together.  Graduations, travels, engagements and weddings.  But some of my favorites with my besties are those times when you realize that time, distance, and life change doesn’t do what most would think it does, when in fact it strengthens the bond of friendship.  We’ve been through some tough times together and after spending five days with them to celebrate Tommy & Amy’s wedding day, I am reminded of the life-long bond we share.  Amy, Di, & I sat in the living room one night and talked for hours.  We laughed, we cried, and we sat in silence for a while – and to me, it was one of the best conversations we’ve ever shared.  For the first time, I was sure of the depth of our relationship.  Knowing they were some of my best for the last 8 years, there were things I was afraid to let them in on — things I thought would create a divide between us. But, thanks to God for His work in my life, I am shown the undying love of my closest, especially in my most difficult times.  And again, for the first time, the confidence of our friendship experienced a new depth.  These girls lives reflect the love of Christ through the strength of their character.   I am blessed to call them my bests.

 

 

Today was made for you.

I was at home when my friend called me from the hospital, telling me she tried to commit suicide that day.  It was Valentines Day and we were in 10th grade.  A mutual friend of ours who shared our table in ceramics class looked her in the eye one day and said, “I wish you would have pulled the trigger.” 

I ran into that same friend five years later at college and as we were reminiscing about our high school years, he looked me in the eye and said, “I still wish she would have pulled the trigger.”  Since then, our friend has lost her husband and the father of her children to a heart condition.  I bet there are many days she doesn’t feel alive.  It was the first time a close friend seriously considered ending her life.  I’m so glad she is still here today.

I have another friend who said on her birthday that she wished she had never been born.  

Never been born?  I can’t imagine what my life would be like without her in it.  I can’t imagine how different so many people’s lives would be if she was never born.  I have learned more about selfless living from her more than everyone in my life combined.  I have learned generosity, joy, love, & grace.  My life has been challenged, strengthened, & encouraged in more ways than I can list.  After all, it’s because of her I have the guts to bust a move on the dance floor.  With late night talks, fabulous eye shadow application, marshmallow fights, guitar hero competitions & the richness of life found in the depth of her character… here’s to you my friend; I’m so glad you were born.