I read it and immediately realized the truth in it. “Jesus says that the great care of the life is to put the relationship to God first, and everything else second.” I’m guilty. I’ve spent more time contemplating my next career move and how to plan a fabulous autumn event than I have spent seeking first the kingdom of God.
“Honesty leads to confession, and confession leads to change.” (The Celebration of Discipline).
I confess that often times, God is not first, second, or third. I sing the words to a song, “In all the world there is none but thee, my God, there is none but thee.” Sometimes my heart wanders and my attitude follows close behind.
I have to make this relationship a dominating concentration in my life. I see what I am when I am not as I should.
And then I begin to live on memories.
The word of God must be always living and active in me.
As I peer out my window blinds on a day when it all began 27 years ago, my heart is lifted. Today is a great day.
I can hear the birds chirping as a light breeze circulates freshness as I continue to wake up, unsure of what the day will bring. I read the notes friends have sent, encouraging me in this journey. And then I wonder, why does my spirit feel downcast within me?
I’m reminded that my worth is not found in what (professionally) I do, but in who I am. It’s found in the beauty of the one who has formed me from the beginning. I will never forget a conversation I had with a friend a few years ago. Finding myself discontent in my job and talking about my dreams for the future, my friend stopped me in mid thought and said, “Have you ever thought that maybe you’re doing it right now?” Referring to the dreams I have for my life, I had not paused to consider the influence of my own at that moment.
“Why my soul, are you downcast? Put your hope in God, for I will praise him, my Savior and my God.”
“Why my soul, are you downcast? Put your hope in God, for I will praise him, my Savior and my God.”
“Why my soul, are you downcast? Put your hope in God, for I will praise him, my Savior and my God.”
I begin to meditate over and over on this favorite found in Psalms.
My roommate pops her head in my room and says, “Good morning Sunshine. Happy Birthday.”
I laugh, smiling on the inside. This day may be for me, but it isn’t about me. Something great is at work in me.
It is a wonderful life. All 27 years of them.
For the second time, the stories from a village in Africa have driven me to find strength and hope in uncertain days. But I didn’t think I’d be speaking to myself; preparing myself for what would happen in the next few days.
After an incredibly refreshing (and exciting) long weekend in the sunshine state, I was welcomed home with the news no one wants to hear. The company I work for is closing it’s doors. This Friday, Iwill be added to the statistic of an ever growing state of difficulty in our economy.
But for one of the first times in my life after receiving life changing news, I’m upbeat about it. Though the days ahead will again, be tough; I’m excited for them to begin because I know greater things are yet to come.
I read on April 29, in the most brilliant writing of Oswald Chambers’,
My Utmost for His Highest:
“To be certain of God mean that we are uncertain in all our ways. We do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next steps, but we are certain of God. When we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainity and expectancy. Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him.”
I am not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He will do next.
