it isn’t what. it is why.

“Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love
Like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am
For Your kingdom’s cause
As I walk from earth into eternity”

Hosanna. As sung by Christy Nockels.

I am completely confident in the advice I gave a family member last week.  So confident in fact, that I emailed him today to remind him of a day that will come in the future.  It may be 3 weeks, 3 months, or 3 years — but the day will come and I am sure of it.

I was thinking about some encouragement a friend gave me yesterday — the timing couldn’t have been more perfect.  Yet, as much as I want to believe and hold onto that encouragement — there are real parts of me that struggle with doubt.

Hmmm, it’s the area with the least amount of trust for sure.

So, why is it easy for me to be confident in the advice I give, but difficult to be confident in the advice I receive?  To each of us, we are confident in the message we give — we offer hope and sunny days.  Maybe it’s because they can see things that we can’t.  Because to them, they’re on the other side — able to see the big picture, where we, are still peering through the mist, waiting for the sun to shine.

And it will. As sure as the moon in the night sky.  As sure as the sun that warms the day.

I still think my high school years were great.  My friends, the games, events & trips. 

Let me clarify, I don’t wear my letter jacket – 8 years later, hanging onto the way things were.

But I do look back on those years with complete satisfaction and no regret.  Sometimes I think my experience was an exception to the typical teenage experience.  Yes, those years had difficult moments and I hated everyday of Chemistry, especially when the teacher called on me, knowing I didn’t have the answer and made me feel like a complete idiot in front of the class.  Overall, I’m happy with the legacy I left and the stories that are at least 10 years old, and are still being written.

My experience must be why I love spending time with high school students today.  In the midst of the media, retail stores, & the stories that we hear, these students give me hope when it seems the world has pegged this generation otherwise.  Last Wednesday night, the sophomores from our small group met outside at a park.  We didn’t have much of an agenda, but I felt in my heart, it was time to dive a little deeper.  We talked about struggles & God’s purpose in allowing us to experience tough things.  As we went around the circle, vulnerability met safety in this place we’ve spent all school year creating.

+Family dynamics
+Post-secondary study
+Choosing friends
+Bad things happening to good people
+Self-image

I may be their leader, but it doesn’t make me any different than them.  I may have a few more stories to share, but we’re all the same.  We’re on this journey together. Doing life. Trying to figure it out.  Inviting others to come along.

The same group of girls arranged dinner at the Olive Garden to visit another group leader.  Two of the boys from our group came along.  It was a lot of fun to hang out and eat together.  One of the boys surprised me during the year when he told me he yells, screams, & swears at this parents to get them to understand.  I struggled with it.  But yesterday when the bill arrived, the boys grabbed the $96 check and paid the bill.  We insisted they not, but they insisted they do.  I was blown away by the selfless generosity.  And again, I sat back and smiled — to be a teenager, is to be in the valuable character shaping years.  Years of influence that mold and design their lives & decisions for the future. 

Though we don’t always understand them and sometimes they act like they’re not listening, they want us to keep investing in their lives.  To love them and show them how to live — that they grow up to be responsible, mature adults who love Jesus and want to make a difference in our world.

After all, who wouldn’t love these girls?!

I wanted to read a new book while I was away.  I browsed the shelves at Border’s and coudn’t find anything of interest.  I saw this book called The Shack sitting on the shelf.  My friend has raved about this book since September.  I continued to scan the shelves and without attraction pulling me in any other direction, I bought the book that came highly recommended.  The back cover read,

“Mackenzie Allen Phillips’ youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness.  Four years later in the midst of his Great Sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to the shack for a weekend.  Against his better judgement he arrives a the shack on a wintry afternoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare.  What he finds there will change Mack’s world forever.  In a world where religion seems to grow increasingly irrelevant The Shack wrestles with the timeless question, “Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain?” The answers Mack gets will astound you and perhaps transform you as much as it did him.  You’ll want everyone to read this book!”

As I dove into the pages, aware of my skepticism, I found my perspective beginning to change.  One of my favorite quotes from the book says, “If anything matters then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, my purposes are accomplished and nothing will ever be the same again.”

Whether you believe the book to be true or not isn’t the purpose of the read. It is insightful and brilliant with perspective as you encounter truth in repentance, forgiveness, judgement, grace, & love. These are the things that will transform your life thru Christ. This book is a refreshing perspective on the generosity of grace.

Check it out for yourself: www.theshackbook.com

In six months, my brother and his wife will get to hang their first picture on the wall.  They are expecting their first child in October.  It suddenly became real and exciting and I felt protective of this life as if it were my own.  I walked through the aisles of the baby department eager to find the perfect gift for this one we have yet to meet. 

As I read websites and baby blogs, I am reminded of the miracle of life and its incredible design.  This is what I learned today (www.pregnancy.org):

Week Twelve:

• Vocal cords begin to form – While perhaps not quite ready to be introduced to the nearest opera stage, your infant will use these immediately following the moment of birth.
• Those precious eyes begin to move closer together.
• Ears shift to their normal place on the side of the head
• Intestines move farther in to your child’s body
• His or her liver begins to function – Responsible for cleansing the blood, storing nutrients, and providing needed chemicals.
• The pancreas begins to produce insulin
• Guess what? Your baby’s average size is now at a whopping length: 2.13 inches (5.4cm) and weight: 0.49 ounce (14gm) 

 Spring is here and there is new life growing.  A sweet new blossom of humanity.

Today, my heart kinda feels the way it looks outside.  The overcast sky, the brown grass, and the leafless trees are sure signs of transition into a new season.  The similarities could mean transition for my heart as well. 

The year has been full of possibility.  Dreams of hope and change have been on the horizon.  Some have clinched those things they’ve been waiting for, while others are still…waiting.

Despite your best efforts to join the team, get the job, travel around the world, or settle down — you find yourself in what you think is the same place as you were last season — that is, 13 weeks ago when you braced for colder winds.  Looking for change, you redesign a room, modify the style of your hair, or look for opportunities in another part of the country — because no matter how planned your life seems to be and how much you don’t prefer change — there is a thrill of excitment in the exploration of the unknown. 

I can still hear the voice of a mentor say to me, “What if God took you around and around and around, and seven years later — you found yourself to be where you’ve always planned.  Will you be ok with that?  Will you stay determined and faithful until you get there?”

I see perseverance all around me. 

• A friend is generously awarded for his #1 music video: http://www.famecast.com/contest/stage_top5_fenom.php?stage_id=45&round_id=232
• My bro and his wife are expecting their first child.
• Some family members are pursuing dreams of living in Florida.
• A friend received an email asking what it will take to bring her on staff with her dream organiztion.

To each of them, years of planning, training, & preparation designed these moments to be here today.  To these four people, today is their day — made to be celebrated and enjoyed.  For the rejections, the tears, the discouragement, and impossibility.

Their perseverance has been recognized as they have stepped into another season.

So it will be, as You are re-creating me, summer, autumn, winter, spring.