His name is Silver.

Day encounters with people are part of a world unseen by many.  Since most people work and the majority of people who don’t work, have kids — lots of people miss out on the world experienced by the rest.  When I take a moment to leave my small world of figuring out my future, I step into a world where I wish I would find myself more often.

I stopped at our favorite Red Box location.  Hesitant to step into the bubble of the older man who was hovering between the box and the new release sign, I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him if he was picking out a movie.  Confused, he excitedly replied, “Oh no sweetie! I don’t rent movies, I buy them!”  I laughed as I thought how expensive his habit could become.  At that moment, we began a 20 minute discourse about movies.  I learned Silver has 10 rubbermaid bins full of dvds at home.  He buys 4-5 dvds a week — but only on “New Release Tuesday.”  He recommended I save my money on Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, but I really should see The Proposal.  As with people in general, I observed some funny quirks of this older man who wishes he had grandchildren.  After all, he always buys the kid movies too…just in case.

But then Silver said something that will stick with me.  I asked him why he buys movies he’s never heard of when he could rent them for much cheaper.  He responds, “Well, I don’t work anymore.  What else am I supposed to do with my time?!”  We both laughed, but I felt a piece of my heart break for him.

According to Silver, he buys 4-5 movies a week at $17 (roughly) a piece.  That is $340 a month.

He grabs my arm and says, “It was a pleasure to meet you Karianne.  I hope to see you around here again sometime.”  And so I began to think about Silver as he rolled his cart out the door and loaded his purchase into his shiny white Escalade.

It was an interesting interaction that probably wouldn’t have happened outside of the working day and yet, it was so challenging.  As I consider the dreams and visions for my life, I am reminded of the huge opportunity before me to live for myself or to pursue others in intentional ways.

I hope I run into Silver at the Red Box again.  If I do, I’ll know it was a God moment — designed for me to leave Silver inspired with a sense of hope.  Who knows, it’s one mile of a million, but if Silver finds more than the latest movie he doesn’t own, the author of my story will smile at the wonder of His people who decide to do something that awakens another.

 

Highs and Lows

It was the end of a really long day.  The array of our various plans had all changed in the moment I received a phone call asking me if we still wanted tickets.  I make a call to my best and exclaimed the surprising news that came four hours in time.  Suddenly, we jumped into an intense mode to speed up two of the three arrangements we originally had in place and still hoped make happen. 

No matter how fast we functioned to accomplish our goals, it was a failed attempt and we found ourselves sitting around, waiting to leave for the big show.

Hours later, after a six-block run through the rain and many uncontrollable yawn sequences, we were back in the car, heading to our final destination.  He looks at me and asks, “What would be one high and one low for you today?”  I respond without hesitation, “My high is finding you tickets and being able to go with you tonight and my low is definitely how exausted and chilly I am after tonight.”

I looked over at him and asked the same question.  He responded with, “My high is being able to go to the show tonight and my low is…” 

I cannot remember what he said his low was.  But then he continued…

“One day, I really hope to be able to say that my high for the day is about the time I spent reading God’s word and praying.”

I’ve thought about that comment for the last four days.  Do I desire the same thing for my life?  How do my actions shape where I place my daily value for something ‘high’ in my life?  What do my actions say about my focus and motivation for living?

May today be one step of many in the direction I want to find myself one day. 

And, a continued dialogue of our daily highs and lows will help shape our perspectives of where we are and where we’re headed.  It could be our daily purposeful tradition we begin.

 

Growth Charts

I bet most kids had a growth chart when they were young. My parents hung ours on the wall and my brother and I would stand against the wall as they marked our height with the date.  I would always spin around quickly to see how much I grew since our last measurement.  We always wanted to be taller and so when my brother finally passed my mom in height, it was a good day for him.  It was easy for us to love growth as kids.  I suppose adults don’t find the same satisfaction when their growth is measured because often times the only growth they see is in the increase of their weight.

But there is something that still fascinates me about growth.  I get excited to see people get taller and I get excited when people change and become something better.  For me, life is about growth.

You could only imagine the anticipation that filled my mind as I opened my favorite piece of mail that comes all the way from Mozambique, Africa once a year.  It was the Namanjavira ADP Annual Progress Report.  In usual fashion, I hurried as I opened the letter, hoping the report was good.

To summarize what I read:

Felizardo just turned six years old.  His health is good and he is in 2nd grade.  He attends Sunday School and Sunday Mass.  His favorite hobbies are soccer and jacks in box.  But most importantly, through World Vision, his family received mosquito nets this year.

I looked at the picture to the left and there he stood, dressed with the shirt that I sent him and the same pair of shoes he wore when I met him last year.  He is posing with a thumbs up and a much happier look on his face.  His skin and hair look healthy and he is so much taller than last year.

Meeting Felizardo changed my life and seeing his progress in the last year reminds me of the belief I have in World Vision to help change kids’ lives.  But then it reminds me of the belief I have in a Big God who loves to work the impossible for people.  Although it’s difficult to gauge the rate of growth against impossible things, I know that’s part of the mysteriousness of God.  And I have to trust that if a shirt I mail from Minnesota can find it’s way onto the back of a six-year old boy all the way into the deep villages of Mozambique, then surely God can do a big work in a home of two people who have forgotten what it feels like to stand against the wall as a child to see how much they’ve grown.  Because whether you’re six years old or 60, becoming a better you is something we all want in life and though sometimes it is hard to see progress, often times, other people can see what you cannot see.  And when the progress reports are submitted, you too will see that hope is alive in what once seemed so impossible to score on the growth charts.

 

It’s almost been a million miles.

I recently discovered I haven’ t moved far from the place I was in a few months ago.  And so I decided to pack up my things and find a new place to settle.  I didn’t know exactly where I wanted to go, but I did remember a place I passed by over a year ago.  So, last week, I found myself in a place that has some familarity, but it’s mostly full of newness and unknown.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve never really known where I wanted to be one day.  Some love that sort of thing, while I would much rather know, settle, and call it home for a long time.  Or so I think.  There is a newfound part of me that enjoys the adventure and very small doses of the unknown.  Unsure of what I have to lose, I set out to climb my Inca Trail.

It’s really because of you.  Yep, you, as in the person reading this writing.  For some reason, I believe I have something to say and for some reason you agree.  And so you read and leave comments from time to time.  Those comments are rich nuggets I’ve been collecting over time and I’ve finally decided to do something with it.  Your words have been a light as I’ve wandered in unlit places.  So to everyone who has taken the time to share the ways this writing has warmed you or has encouraged your pursuits towards what really matters in life, thank you.  My next steps up this steep mountain could not be done without your love.

With the deepest support from my best, I’ll be taking some big steps in unknown territory.  I want to do more with these words on a page and courage is required.  I’ll be writing more and making it a larger focus in my life so I can truly do what I love, full time.  This means you might be seeing weekly trends with this blog, slight changes & updates, and broader range of categories. 

I can’t do this without you.  Please continue to read and to share your thoughts.  And if you leave inspired, I’d encourage you to send a link of inspiration to another person.  And if at anytime, there is a topic or theme you’d like to see on this site — don’t keep it to yourself.  Encourage me to grow. 

As I continue to climb this mountain and begin embracing difficulty in the terrain, I will hold steadfast to the reason for my words.  Because it isn’t what a man does that really matters; it is why, and that makes all the difference.

It’s almost been a million miles and I’m going to keep climbing.  Because I know the people I meet along the way have a story to share and I have to be there to tell it.

 

Her name is Linda.

While on our honeymoon in St. Lucia, Jason & I agreed we needed to take some time to step outside the resort and explore a bit of the culture on the island.  On Wednesday, (the only day it rained) we got in a van with another couple and made our way to a fishing town named Castries where the Marketplace was located.  We were so eager to catch a glimpse of what life could be like for the residents of St. Lucia.

We walked up and down rows of vendors.  As in most places, they sell everything.  We decided it would be fun to find a piece of art for our home that would remind us of our trip.  We were drawn to a variety of faceless statues.  Some were wood and others were stone, but they were so unique.  Intentional about using our Dave Ramsey negotiation skills, we gathered information across the building on the cost.

Meanwhile, we walked down an aisle where a woman was singing old church hymns.  We commented on her joy that accompanied her song and started a brief dialogue.  We continued browsing, but realizing we were running out of time, we knew we had to make a decision on which statue to purchase.

We ‘randomly’ walked down the same aisle where we encountered the joyful lady.  As we stood behind her, she started singing a song I haven’t heard since I was 10 years old.

“He touched me.  Oh He touched me.  And oh what joy that floods my soul.  Something happened and now I know, He touched me and made me whole.”

Immediately, the song reminded me of my mom.  This image from 17 years ago entered my mind.  I saw her standing in church, just belting out this song as if every thread of her being believed the words to be so true.

I rested my hand on this lady’s shoulder and I said, “That song reminds me of my mom.  I haven’t heard it in years.  Thank you so much for singing it today.”

She gave me a hug and smiled as she passed along a blessing.

Shortly thereafter, we walked outside to meet the other couple and our driver.  Still somewhat emotional about the moment inside, she walked up to us with a bag in her hand.  She asks, “Is you mother still alive?”  ”Yes,” I respond. “Then I want you to give this to her.” She replied.  ”My name is Linda.  Please pray for me.”

I gave Linda a hug and thanked her for the incredible blessing.  She smiled and walked back inside.

In disbelief at what just happened, tears flooded my eyes.  We could have spent hundreds of dollars on things to remind us and friends of St. Lucia (much like the couple who came with us did), but nothing could have been purchased to mean what the gifted hand carved wooden vase means to me.

There is something so special about gifts.  You can never buy that feeling you get when someone gives you something special to them.

 

just nice.

Some people are just nice.  I’m not talking friends or family, but those stranger to stranger encounters that we all have from time to time.  You know those people who know no strangers? 

I met lots of new people last weekend.  Some are still nameless, while others were very personable.  I suppose we had a few things in common.  I’m a bride (soon-to-be) and they love everything wedding.  Naturally, we go together.

All over town, in random places, people waved, smiled, shouted their congratulations, and even wished me a happy wedding day.  This happened all night long.  In one place, a girl (soon-to-be-bride herself) sat down next to me and started asking all about my wedding plans.  It seemed odd to have someone (a stranger) so interested in my day.  Then, she explains she’s a bride too and shares with me a few exciting details planned for her day and then wishes me the best for the future.  As she went on her way, she left me questioning my own niceness to strangers.

How often do I share in the happiness of a total stranger and add to their excitement of a special time in their lives? 
How often do I express well wishes for the future or empathize along with them?

Like the countless people who were just nice to me, I was reminded me of the natural goodness of people.  It’s there.  Although it’s sometimes buried deeper in some — I learned I should not underestimate the niceness in people.  And maybe I should be more generous in spreading niceness on a daily basis.

It feels good.  To be nice (not to be confused with courteous) with strangers.  Try it.  It made my day.  And sometimes it might be what you need at that very moment.

 

Happy Birthday to you.

Today is your birthday. 

With another year of life upon you, I pray all of life’s greatest joys to be yours.

That you would know love deep enough that it would penetrate your soul and allow you the freedom to sing and to dance.

For the hope we share is alive and is extended to you.  May you reach for it and let it transform your life.

So this year, will be like no other.

Happy Birthday Felizardo.  Happy Birthday Pops. 

Your lives have made a significant difference in mine.

 

refinement is required.

I spent some time sitting on the dock with my feet dangling in the water last week.  With my pen and book in hand, I took a deep breath and opened the pages.  I hadn’t really thought about this time in my life this way.  That possibly, this small setback could be the beginning of a greater thing at work in me.

After failing miserably at the small task that was ahead of me two weeks ago, I wondered what I was becoming.  Sure of the disappointment in myself and from others around me, it was evident I was weighed down.  Tired of singing the same song;  intentional change needed to happen, or this current course of setback would easily transform into a course of destruction.

This course has ultimately led me to the fire.  Reminded of a song we used to sing in my youth group days, the pain of refinement was clear.  As gold goes through a purification process, the steady degree of temperature allows not for the damage of the compound, but for it’s perfection.  To the top, rise the impurities, that if they remained, would significantly decrease the worth of that piece of gold.  And so the refinement process creates opportunity for the unclean things to get skimmed off the surface.  Painful.  I saw in myself, those things that make me less than what I want to become.  In fact, I could list them.  Really, it’s disgusting.

But I can’t move forward into something I’ve never been if I’m still the same.  Refinement is required.  I have to be changed from the inside out because a greater work is waiting to happen.  Fighting only works until you’ve lost all your strength.

I’ve decided that each day has the potential to be the very best day of my life.  As I continue to trust and to wait, giving up hope would be silly.  A setback was in store for me to become something I’ve never been.

 

with everything.

A familiar tune plays through the car speakers,

“Open our hearts,
To see the things
That make Your heart cry,
To be the church
The You would desire.
Light to be seen.

Break down our pride,
And all the walls
We’ve built up inside,
Our earthly crowns
And all our desires,
We lay at Your feet.”

And suddenly, I’m reminded that in my deepest days of unknowning — it isn’t about me.

It’s not about the wedding I’m planning or the job I would love to have.  It isn’t about health insurance reconsideration or searching for the perfect place to live.

“So let hope rise,
And darkness tremble
In Your holy light,
And every eye will see
Jesus, our God,
Great and mighty to be praised.”

Maybe this time has more to do with the bigger things. 

My 17-year old small group girlie got baptized on Sunday.
My family has taken some BIG steps towards healing.
My sweet friend texts about the peace in her heart after a conversation we shared.

I almost missed it. Stuck in the mirror, worried about the number of hairs on my head, I almost missed the celebrations of a lifetime.

“With everything,
With everything,
We will shout for your glory.”

 

Convenience and a Turkey Sub

An old friend of mine originally submitted this for publication with Relevant Magazine (https://www.relevantmagazine.com/features-reviews/life/2272). 
I came across it today and thought it was a good reminder.  Thanks Ryan for your inspiring thoughts.  I hope you’re still writing.

Convenience and a Turkey Sub
by Ryan Igielski

Job. Not the occupation you either like or dislike. Not the thing you go to certain days between Sunday and Saturday. The person. A man that was put through the ultimate test. Here’s the FoodSaver Plus version: Read Job 1-2. He didn’t worship God out of what he could get out of the relationship with Him. He worshipped Him because he loved the character of God, how God never failed him and how God provided everything for him. So many of us—I’m talking mostly about Americans, because I am one, but this is not limited to only Americans—love all the things God does for us. So much so that it seems to me that we often like those things he does for us more than we love God himself.

** pause for a deep breath **

Please stop, take a deep breath, don’t become defensive, and understand that I’m not saying this for all people, all Americans or for all of us all the time. This MAY be the case for SOME people SOME of the time. There are some times that I’m guilty of this train of thought, so I tend to think there are others who think similarly as well. Now that we’re not reading this defensively, please continue.

** take another deep breath because they just feel good **

We like when God heals, when God intervenes in tough times, and when He provides for us when we never think possible. For example, right now I have a nagging cough. I’ve thought several times, “It sure would be nice if God healed me.” But why? So I could tell of the awesome work God has done in my life and let it be a testimony to His name? Or, so I can be alleviated of the inconvenience this cough has been and tell no one that it was God who healed me? After all, I’ve served God for so long, He owes me.

Let me clear one thing up: God owes us nothing. We owe Him everything. But as humans created with a human nature, sometimes we think God owes us favors for how often we go to church and for reading our Bibles.

On my way to worship team practice one night I wanted to stop at Subway on my way. I had about a 15-minute drive, and I passed one Subway that was about a half mile off the road I was on. Out of my complete laziness, I thought, “There’s got to be one closer than this. I know there’s one downtown that I can go to and that’s right on my way to church.” Five minutes later, I passed another one and it still wasn’t the one downtown yet.

I knew the one downtown was still there too, but this one was only twenty-five feet off the road I was driving on. “Couldn’t get much closer than that,” I thought. So it was there that I got my turkey sub on wheat with mayo and everything but jalapenos and olives on it.

As I was walking out the door, sub in hand, I began to reflect on what had just happened. I wanted to go to the Subway that was most convenient and the least amount out of my way and at that moment I thought to myself, “How often is my relationship with God like that? Is that what I want? Convenience? Blessings?” Yes all of those things are nice, but then this picture of Job flashed across my mind. He wasn’t a guy that served God out of convenience or because of what God could DO for him. He served God because God came first. God wasn’t some addition he added to his busy life that we Americans are so guilty of sometimes. God was Job’s life. He was what he lived for everyday.

At that moment, I came to the realization that I do not want to be someone that serves God out of convenience or because of what God can DO for me—I look for Subways that way. I don’t want to search out the heart of God in the same way I search for a turkey sub.

I want to desire God for who He is, not for what He does.

Yes, He does so much for us, and trust me I’m grateful for that, but may that not be the reason I desire to spend time with Him and chase after the plans He has for me. May I chase after Him because of His character and because He desires to spend time with me. One of the worst gifts anyone can give someone is the gift of convenient time. I’m not talking about fitting people into our schedules—time management is a good thing. I’m referring to the I’ll-hang-out-with-you-because-there’s-something-in-it-for-me mentality.

If friendships are based on that self-serving mentality, they are not going to last very long. People catch on. And if people catch on, the God that knows every intention of our heart catches on as well.

This really hit home in my heart, and in thinking this, it was a bit of a letdown for me because I thought of the many times my relationship with God has taken the passenger seat to something else that really wasn’t more important. The reality is that nothing can be more important.

“God isn’t looking for religious people; He’s looking for people who are hot after His heart. He wants people who want Him, who want the Blesser more than the blessings.” –Tommy Tenney, The God Chasers, p. 149.

May it be my heart’s desire to unlock the heart of Job inside of me and put God first over everything else and, in doing so, “want the Blesser more than the blessings.” And may I chase after God simply for who He is, not what He can do for me.