Convenience and a Turkey Sub

An old friend of mine originally submitted this for publication with Relevant Magazine (https://www.relevantmagazine.com/features-reviews/life/2272). 
I came across it today and thought it was a good reminder.  Thanks Ryan for your inspiring thoughts.  I hope you’re still writing.

Convenience and a Turkey Sub
by Ryan Igielski

Job. Not the occupation you either like or dislike. Not the thing you go to certain days between Sunday and Saturday. The person. A man that was put through the ultimate test. Here’s the FoodSaver Plus version: Read Job 1-2. He didn’t worship God out of what he could get out of the relationship with Him. He worshipped Him because he loved the character of God, how God never failed him and how God provided everything for him. So many of us—I’m talking mostly about Americans, because I am one, but this is not limited to only Americans—love all the things God does for us. So much so that it seems to me that we often like those things he does for us more than we love God himself.

** pause for a deep breath **

Please stop, take a deep breath, don’t become defensive, and understand that I’m not saying this for all people, all Americans or for all of us all the time. This MAY be the case for SOME people SOME of the time. There are some times that I’m guilty of this train of thought, so I tend to think there are others who think similarly as well. Now that we’re not reading this defensively, please continue.

** take another deep breath because they just feel good **

We like when God heals, when God intervenes in tough times, and when He provides for us when we never think possible. For example, right now I have a nagging cough. I’ve thought several times, “It sure would be nice if God healed me.” But why? So I could tell of the awesome work God has done in my life and let it be a testimony to His name? Or, so I can be alleviated of the inconvenience this cough has been and tell no one that it was God who healed me? After all, I’ve served God for so long, He owes me.

Let me clear one thing up: God owes us nothing. We owe Him everything. But as humans created with a human nature, sometimes we think God owes us favors for how often we go to church and for reading our Bibles.

On my way to worship team practice one night I wanted to stop at Subway on my way. I had about a 15-minute drive, and I passed one Subway that was about a half mile off the road I was on. Out of my complete laziness, I thought, “There’s got to be one closer than this. I know there’s one downtown that I can go to and that’s right on my way to church.” Five minutes later, I passed another one and it still wasn’t the one downtown yet.

I knew the one downtown was still there too, but this one was only twenty-five feet off the road I was driving on. “Couldn’t get much closer than that,” I thought. So it was there that I got my turkey sub on wheat with mayo and everything but jalapenos and olives on it.

As I was walking out the door, sub in hand, I began to reflect on what had just happened. I wanted to go to the Subway that was most convenient and the least amount out of my way and at that moment I thought to myself, “How often is my relationship with God like that? Is that what I want? Convenience? Blessings?” Yes all of those things are nice, but then this picture of Job flashed across my mind. He wasn’t a guy that served God out of convenience or because of what God could DO for him. He served God because God came first. God wasn’t some addition he added to his busy life that we Americans are so guilty of sometimes. God was Job’s life. He was what he lived for everyday.

At that moment, I came to the realization that I do not want to be someone that serves God out of convenience or because of what God can DO for me—I look for Subways that way. I don’t want to search out the heart of God in the same way I search for a turkey sub.

I want to desire God for who He is, not for what He does.

Yes, He does so much for us, and trust me I’m grateful for that, but may that not be the reason I desire to spend time with Him and chase after the plans He has for me. May I chase after Him because of His character and because He desires to spend time with me. One of the worst gifts anyone can give someone is the gift of convenient time. I’m not talking about fitting people into our schedules—time management is a good thing. I’m referring to the I’ll-hang-out-with-you-because-there’s-something-in-it-for-me mentality.

If friendships are based on that self-serving mentality, they are not going to last very long. People catch on. And if people catch on, the God that knows every intention of our heart catches on as well.

This really hit home in my heart, and in thinking this, it was a bit of a letdown for me because I thought of the many times my relationship with God has taken the passenger seat to something else that really wasn’t more important. The reality is that nothing can be more important.

“God isn’t looking for religious people; He’s looking for people who are hot after His heart. He wants people who want Him, who want the Blesser more than the blessings.” –Tommy Tenney, The God Chasers, p. 149.

May it be my heart’s desire to unlock the heart of Job inside of me and put God first over everything else and, in doing so, “want the Blesser more than the blessings.” And may I chase after God simply for who He is, not what He can do for me.

 

peace.

I opened the cupboard Saturday morning and reached my hand to grab my favorite mug.  Yet, it was missing and a larger, white one was in its place.  I pulled it down and filled it with warm water to take the chill out of the air.  I wrapped my hands around the large white mug and leaned against the counter.  I was alone in the house I grew up in for the first time in years.   As if time stood still, I caught myself thinking about all of the stories these walls could tell, if they could indeed talk.

The weather was typical of this place up north.  Usually chilly and overcast, it was a welcomed break from the sweltering heat of the last week, 150 miles from here.  It’s days like these when staying in is all I need to slow down and enjoy the day without any agenda to accomplish.

As if it was my daily routine, I walked into the sunroom with my coffee mug in hand and stood in front of the windows.  I paused and looked around the yard and then continued through the dining room and into the living room.  I sat down in my favorite chair.  It’s in that chair, I’ve had some of the best conversations of my life.  It’s in that chair, I’ve read some of my favorite books.  Bringing the mug to my face, I looked out the front window.  It was the glass that captured the reflection from my mug.

I rotated the mug in my hand and this is what I read:

“peace. it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.  it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”  (unknown)

Captivated by such a profound statement on a mug I found in the cupboard, I read it again.  As I sipped from it, I considered the thoughts of the one who regularly enjoys their favorite warm beverage from it.  I wondered if that person was reminded of hope each time they held this mug.

This mug is the newest addition to the cupboard.  It sits among the other pieces of ceramic that were acquired when matching dishes were purchased, gifted, or brought home from a favorite vacation destination.  This mug is unlike the others.  It doesn’t match any set and is the only one of its kind.  But it sits on the third shelf in the very front, on the edge as if it gets used, washed, and put away just about every day. 

The phrase printed in black was a subtle reminder that we can go a long way with encouragement.  That with hope, the never-ending feel of a situation begins to diminish.  That the peace Jesus left was his parting gift to us.  He didn’t leave us the way we’re used to being left — abandoned, but He left us well and whole. (John 14:25).  Over and over the Bible says, “Peace to you.”  Romans 15 says it best as I think about the relevance of the day, “May the God of great hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope!”

With one more sip remaining in this mug, I tilt it forward and savor the finality. 

I walk back into the kitchen, slowly wash the mug and dry it off.  Holding the mug as if it were a fragile life, I open the cabinet to return it to its newfound place.  This time, turning it around so the words would inspire the next one who would open the cabinet door.  I turn around and lean against the counter and smile.  Myself, at peace, confident the one who drinks from this mug the most, is a fighter.  There is calm in her heart.

 

Well said…

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

“Now that you have raised your sail, be sure to set sail and stay sailing. Its one thing to leave harbor, but its another to stay sailing, even if theres no wind. But you know what they say, if theres no wind, row. I believe in you. Ill for sure see you when we anchor on shore, until then hopefully our boats will cross paths.”

Thank you.

 

I’ve raised the sail.

A ship is safe in the harbor, but it’s not what they were built for, right?

It’s time to sail.

I’ve been a dreamer for a long time. 

If you’re lucky, you’ve heard my stories of life and hope.

Now, I think I’m ready to do. 

Finally.

I’m going to set sail.

On my own, but not alone.

It’s a beautiful day. 

I cannot waste one more.

I’ve raised the sail.

 

Summer on the Lanai

I recently spent some much needed time in my favorite place in the world.  I travel there often, but not frequently as I would like.  And when I get there, I am reminded that it is always the most refreshing place to visit.  Sometimes I think it’s the constant sunshine that makes me smile, while other times it’s the familiarity of an old place that makes it feel like home. 

And so it’s that time of year again.  Year 7.  This time by myself.  Books full of stories fill the pages and as I pick up one of those books every year, the stories I read this time were bittersweet.

I read a page and my heart sang like it did the summer I spent on the lanai.  It started singing the day we unexpectedly drove past that lanai this April.  Headed for either Chic-fil-a or a Slurpee from 7-Eleven (easily my two southern favorites), I recognized the tune and without hesitation, I joined in the song.

It was on that lanai when I first understood that God wanted me to be something that I’ve never been.  Still underlined in purple, the summer of 2003 defined my life and I’ve never been the same.  I hear the words I read on the page, “Don’t lose heart in the process.”

There are few days when I “get” the last few months.  But the same peace I had that summer, six years ago, is real for me again today.  “Abide in me.  Fret not.  Bank your faith in the character of God. Keep paying the price.” 

So that I may know Him.

It must be why I love to revisit this place that will always be held as markers of spiritual definement in my life.  I know I will always find what I’m looking for because I pursue it with eager anticipation. 

It’s a sacred place where life is refreshed every time.  He never disappoints.

 

But, I must live.

I read it and immediately realized the truth in it.  “Jesus says that the great care of the life is to put the relationship to God first, and everything else second.”  I’m guilty.  I’ve spent more time contemplating my next career move and how to plan a fabulous autumn event than I have spent seeking first the kingdom of God. 

“Honesty leads to confession, and confession leads to change.” (The Celebration of Discipline).

I confess that often times, God is not first, second, or third.  I sing the words to a song, “In all the world there is none but thee, my God, there is none but thee.”   Sometimes my heart wanders and my attitude follows close behind. 

I have to make this relationship a dominating concentration in my life.  I see what I am when I am not as I should. 
And then I begin to live on memories. 

The word of God must be always living and active in me.

 

May 14, 2009

As I peer out my window blinds on a day when it all began 27  years ago, my heart is lifted.  Today is a great day.

I can hear the birds chirping as a light breeze circulates freshness as I continue to wake up, unsure of what the day will bring.  I read the notes friends have sent, encouraging me in this journey.  And then I wonder, why does my spirit feel downcast within me? 

I’m reminded that my worth is not found in what (professionally) I do, but in who I am.  It’s found in the beauty of the one who has formed me from the beginning.  I will never forget a conversation I had with a friend a few years ago.  Finding myself discontent in my job and talking about my dreams for the future, my friend stopped me in mid thought and said, “Have you ever thought that maybe you’re doing it right now?”  Referring to the dreams I have for my life, I had not paused to consider the influence of my own at that moment.

“Why my soul, are you downcast? Put your hope in God, for I will praise him, my Savior and my God.”
“Why my soul, are you downcast? Put your hope in God, for I will praise him, my Savior and my God.”
“Why my soul, are you downcast? Put your hope in God, for I will praise him, my Savior and my God.”

I begin to meditate over and over on this favorite found in Psalms.

My roommate pops her head in my room and says, “Good morning Sunshine. Happy Birthday.”

I laugh, smiling on the inside.  This day may be for me, but it isn’t about me.  Something great is at work in me.

It is a wonderful life. All 27 years of them.

 

Certain in Uncertainity

For the second time, the stories from a village in Africa have driven me to find strength and hope in uncertain days.  But I didn’t think I’d be speaking to myself; preparing myself for what would happen in the next few days.

After an incredibly refreshing (and exciting) long weekend in the sunshine state, I was welcomed home with the news no one wants to hear.  The company I work for is closing it’s doors.  This Friday, Iwill be added to the statistic of an ever growing state of difficulty in our economy.

But for one of the first times in my life after receiving life changing news, I’m upbeat about it.  Though the days ahead will again, be tough; I’m excited for them to begin because I know greater things are yet to come.

I read on April 29, in the most brilliant writing of Oswald Chambers’,
My Utmost for His Highest:

“To be certain of God mean that we are uncertain in all our ways.  We do not know what a day may bring forth.  This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation.  We are uncertain of the next steps, but we are certain of God.  When we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainity and expectancy.  Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come.  Remain loyal to Him.”

I am not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He will do next.

 

A Diamond. True Beauty.

I originally posted this writing a few years ago.  Suddenly, I understand it so much differently.

I subscribe to a weekly email newsletter through Radiant Magazine (www.radiantmag.com). The article I read this morning was incredible and I think there is an important message for all of us. I hope you enjoy as much as I did.

A Diamond’s True Beauty By Felicity White
Part of the creative genius of God is that He seems to have encoded little messages to us in the most unexpected places. One of my favorites comes from the half-carat diamond in my engagement ring. I’m not sure if I fell in love with this diamond because it came from the guy of my dreams or because it is the single most expensive item I’ve ever owned outside of my Corolla, but this diamond has illustrated more valuable lessons to me than anything I’ve learned from the trendy self-help books decorating my bedroom shelves.

The messages started with a simple revelation. In the days following my engagement I was acutely aware of my left hand. Did I always bang it on the bathroom stall like that? Had I always dragged it along the stairway railing as if it were barely connected to my body? I noticed every time I bumped into one of my student’s desks or fumbled with my cell phone in my purse. I started having crazy dreams involving the discovery that the ring was a fake. I knew this because it would crumble in my fingers like a clod of dirt or shatter on the ground in a million pieces. I would awake in a panic, find my perfectly intact ring on the bedside table and laugh at myself. I took the ring off for showers and for my frequent applications of antibacterial hand lotion.

After a few weeks of this obsessive behavior I started to get the picture. Nothing was happening to my diamond. I would carefully check it over for scratches or any sign of damage, but I realized that I wasn’t going to find anything. This gem was made for a lifetime of wearing—jewelers knew what they were doing when they decided which precious stone should become the symbol of every American male’s undying love. I got the message—this diamond is not just beautiful; it is a symbol of strength and endurance.

I took the lesson to heart for my own life. I started imagining myself as that little gem: beautiful, mysterious and strong. I became so interested that I started studying diamond websites and actually checking out books at the library about the history of diamonds and their cultural significance. This has been fascinating and enlightening. I’m more convinced than ever that God gave us diamonds and other rare rocks as reminders of the kind of women He wants us to be. After all, Peter refers to believers as living stones, and John’s description in Revelation of the City of God includes costly and precious stones, not gray slabs of dull rock.

The real beauty of a diamond is found on the inside. We love the fireworks and tiny rainbows created when light hits the stone, but those are just the effects of good clarity and the right cut on the inside of the diamond. Clarity means the diamond itself is free of flaws and inclusions, little non-diamond particles that can’t even be seen with the human eye. You have to look through a special jeweler’s loupe to even see these inclusions, but a diamond with a lot of flaws won’t produce sparkle like it should. Just like the sins and weaknesses in our character, these inclusions block light and muddy what should be crystal-clear material.

Clarity and cut are important criteria for deciding how much an individual diamond is worth. A small diamond with few inclusions and a perfect cut will cost more than the bigger carat with hidden flaws or an inferior cut. The cut is a precise, scientific process that involves perfect angles and dimensions to achieve maximum light reflection. I imagine it like the sometimes difficult path of discipleship: It can be time-consuming and painful, but the results are well worth the effort. Even when offered a diamond a few tenths of a carat larger than the one I received, I stuck with the stone that stood out from the rest on that little square of black velvet on the jewelry counter. It just had more sparkle. I didn’t know then that it was because of its clarity and balanced cut that this particular diamond projected so much more light than even the larger ones nearby.

This pretty stone has demonstrated to me that the life of beauty I want on the outside starts on the inside. If things are out of sync in my depths, it shows on my surface. To reflect the light of Jesus as remarkably as He shines it into my life in the first place, I have to be willing to examine my soul for clarity and submit to the cuts of discipleship. When I believe in and act upon these simple messages from my diamond, I learn to reflect His light with brilliance to a dark world. I become a rare rock living life from the inside out.”

Thank you Felicity for sharing your inspiring thoughts.

 

Beautiful Hope.

Her given name was Huang Mei Pan (may pan).  Days old and left in a box outside the doors of an orphanage was her beginning.  Spend a few hours in my office after 3 pm and you’ll be convinced South Asia gave up a precious jewel. 

She answers to Sarah most of the time, but within moments of a Mei Pan discussion in her presence, she will start responding as if you’re talking about her.  Of course we’re not talking about her, but we are referring to the inspiration she gave us last July. 

Julie sold more jewelry off her body than anyone I’ve ever met.  Nearly 34 visits to South Asia and countless containers of unique, one-of-a-kind pieces of personally designed jewelry, combined with hours spent holding children in orphanages and visiting elderly in old people’s homes; it only made sense to make it official.

Mei Pan was our inspiration because it translates into “Beautiful Hope.” 
It’s really our heartbeat. 
To bring beautiful hope to the world, one life at a time.

And so we incorporated and began development of a company who holds tight to their mission:  Deliver a low cost high quality genuine product that most women love.  Jewelry.  Authentic materials and unique designs listed at a great price-point in order for us to accomplish one goal:  keep costs low so we can bring back as many dollars as possible to help increase the standard of living, among those in orphanages and old people’s homes. 

Much like a caterpiller and it’s transformation into a beautiful butterfly, we want to bring beautiful hope to others so they can know the same transformation for their lives.

“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.”  James 1:27

Long days of decision making and policy writing get tough, but knowing we’re doing this to bring beautiful hope to the world, makes the growing pains less intense.

We’re a work in progress, but check us out: www.meipanjewelry.com
The next time you’re craving some new jewelry, know that by your purchase with Mei Pan, your dollar isn’t helping the rich get richer, but is going to help make life less difficult for another person somewhere around the world.  And check back often, we have lots more to get on that e-store.

Sarah laid on the couch in my office yesterday laughing hysterically.  I thought, “She is such the story of beautiful hope.  Someone must have been inspired when they named her Mei Pan.”